Superhero fans, we give you Herbert Chavez of the Philippines.
Chavez obviously read a comic book or two during his 35 years of life on Earth because he turned to extensive surgery to transform himself into everyone's famous Son of Krypton.
According to a ABS-CBN Filipino news report, Chavez has been undergoing Superman-ish procedures for 16 years now, including chin augmentation, rhinoplasty, silicone injections to his lips, and (my favorite) thigh implants.
Looking at the current results, he's missed a couple of minor details. It's probably inappropriate to give ideas to a man who could be suffering from body dysmorphic disorder when there's an entirely new Superman in production, but... First, Superman was never 5 feet tall. Finally, a push-up or two wouldn't hurt as this guy looks less powerful than Thomas the Tank Engine, let alone a long locomotive.
As Chavez abides in his own Superman memorabilia-stuffed Fortress of Solitude, we can only hope a brunette news reporter lives next door on one side, and a bald guy in an expensive suit moves in on the other and sets green rocks in his yard. That would really freak Chavez out.