The Tyrannosaurus rex is sick of all you puny humans joking about his small arms. He could make a lot of jokes about your pathetic weight and pitiable stomping ability. (Pretty impressive work wasting that anthill. Now watch me take out this Velociraptor egg nest.)
And those Chiclets you call teeth? Sweet that you pull that tiny floss in between them to sift out little crumbs. I got a whole Compsognathus jammed in a back molar, and it's been there since January.
But the T. rex is a good guy, really. Here, he'll prove it by opening your beer for you. With his teeth, duh, but unlike your neighbor with the giant chip in his incisor, T. rex here will be none the worse for wear. He's now a cast-iron bottle opener ($40) that will be available later this month, and I want one before they become extinct.
(Via That's Nerdalicious)