Culture

LED Genome watch is 'uncool proof'

The made-in-China, Japanese-inspired LED Genome watch costs less than 10 bucks and allegedly, "[i]ncreases your coolness factor by 5.7 Miles Davis magnititudes."

David Carnoy Executive Editor / Reviews

Executive Editor David Carnoy has been a leading member of CNET's Reviews team since 2000. He covers the gamut of gadgets and is a notable reviewer of mobile accessories and portable audio products, including headphones and speakers. He's also an e-reader and e-publishing expert as well as the author of the novels Knife Music, The Big Exit and Lucidity. All the titles are available as Kindle, iBooks, Nook e-books and audiobooks.

Expertise Mobile accessories and portable audio, including headphones, earbuds and speakers Credentials

Maggie Award for Best Regularly Featured Web Column/Consumer

See full bio

David Carnoy

Nov. 10, 2010 12:25 p.m. PT

2 min read

What time is it? Count the dots. brandsdragon.com

A couple of weeks ago we served up the Kisai Wasted Watch, one of those crazy Japanese LED watches, in our Crave giveaway of the week. Well, for all of who entered the contest and didn't win but are fans these types of gadgets, we thought we should point this bargain out: the Genome LED watch.

This is another special from the folks at brandsdragon.com, which has this guy going for $6.26 (shipping not included). Now, normally we wouldn't post a description of the watch verbatim, but this one is just too wacky not to:

Introducing The Genome, a Japanese inspired red, yellow, and green LED watch delivered via Dan Simmons' farcaster network which gives its biological entity wearer Shrike-like powers by resequencing how time tide information is posited. The Genome embodies Deoxyribonucleic style and base pair design with its traffic light spectrum of red, yellow, and green molecular LED units randomly scattered (randomness generated by atmospheric noise instead of pseudo-random number algorithms typically used in computer programs!) amidst a darkly mirrored surface and then encased in Vibranium-Adamantium alloy.

If you're wondering how you tell time, apparently you don't have to be "Mycroft Holmes to figure it out." Each red dot equals one hour of time. Each yellow dot is five minutes of time. And finally, each green dot is one minute worth of "time data," whatever that means. Or more simply: Five red, seven yellow, three green comes out 5:38 am. Huh?

Before we go, we leave you with this final marketing copy gem: "This watch is not waterproof though it is uncool proof. No matter how uncool you are, wearing the watch instantly increases your coolness factor by 5.7 Miles Davis magnititudes!"