Kanye West rants on Twitter to get Apple to buy Tidal
Technically Incorrect: Where else would the great controversialist try to do business? He just wants to make sweet, streaming music. So he wants Apple to buy Tidal.
Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
This is Kanye trying to make things happen.
Kanye West had clearly had enough.
And when Kanye has had enough, he either mounts the stage at an awards show or he does what so many do -- mounts his high horse on Twitter.
On Saturday morning, the great entertainer emitted a series of tweets encouraging Apple to buy Tidal.
There have been rumors for a little while now that Apple -- with its strong music connections -- would buy Jay Z's not entirely flourishing streaming enterprise.
West, as well as other stars such as Rihanna, Beyoncé, Alicia Keys and Jack White were introduced at Tidal's launch as apparent equity partners.
So Kanye just wishes Apple would hurry up.
In the first of a series of tweets, he mused, "This Tidal Apple beef is fucking up the music game."
I hadn't been aware that there was so much of a beef. However, Kanye Kan-tinued: "I need Tim Cook Jay Z Dez Jimmy Larry me and Drake Scooter on the phone or in a room this week!!!"
These would be the main players from either side of this alleged T-bone, and when Kanye has a need, that need must be met. With a meeting, for example.
You might be wondering what is truly going on. Thankfully, Kanye enlightened further: "Fuck all this dick swinging contest. We all gon [sic] be dead in 100 Years. Let the kids have the music."
I fear the kids have quite enough music already. They barely know what to do with it all.
Is this all really about the kids having the music? Or is it about Jay Z and his superstar partners finally cashing in on their troubled venture?
But then Kanye went in for the kill. Yes, he went for Tim Cook's ego.
"Apple give Jay his check for Tidal now and stop tying to act like you Steve," he tweeted.
It would, of course, be quite wrong for Apple to act as if it was Steve Jobs.
Most people already know that the new Steve Jobs is, in fact, Kanye West. He said so himself. It is therefore true.
Neither Apple nor Tidal immediately responded to a request for comment.
However, those of worried mien will ask themselves only one vital question: "Where is Taylor Swift when we need her most?"
She has proved herself adept at persuading Apple to see things the enlightened way. Could she not mediate this apparent swinging of phalluses and avoid the incursion of emotional calluses?
She's already clearly in the Apple camp, even being prepared to fall flat on her face in order to sell its Music service.
And she's now very friendly with Kanye.
Oh, wait.