He's boyish. He could surely punch one fist into his other palm.
And, hey, he can sing.
So why wouldn't everyone be moved to hysterical joy by the idea of Justin Bieber playing Robin in Zack Snyder's forthcoming movie "Man Of Steel 2," popularly assumed to be called "Batman vs. Superman"?
Yet the concept, stirred Friday by Bieber himself, doesn't seem to have enjoyed universal approval.
The young darling of so many posted a lovely picture to his Instagram account. It was of the "Batman vs. Superman" script with his name emblazoned across the front.
The natural assumption is that he'd make a perfect Robin. (Well, he did slip in #robin?? to stimulate that assumption.)
It's a prospect that has much of the Web shaking with anticipation. Currently, the picture has been blessed with more than 639,000 likes.
However, there have been objections. One commenter to Instagram, mssabrinalogan, offered this almost Ebertian analysis: "F*** all these fan girls who are now gunna like Batman if Justin is Robin. Us DC fans actually matter and if they don't want this movie to be a huge failure they won't cast Justin. Plus his acting sucks. I like Justin just not for Batman Vs. Superman."
His acting sucks? How does anyone know?
The unimaginative have pointed out that one of Canada's greatest exports tweeted Friday: "Off to do something funny or...die :)"
Ergo, they conclude, Bieber is really just a, um, joker.
But please dream with me for a moment. Nerdy and self-regarding types have already -- and, to my mind unreasonably --.
Can't you imagine Affleck bullying Bieber mercilessly, while the latter sings trying to curry favor, as they're on their way to save some poor Gothamist from a dastardly death?
Oh, Batty, Batty, Batty.