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Jon Stewart calls Apple 'Appholes' over lost iPhone

On his Comedy Central show, Jon Stewart sympathizes with Gizmodo and suggests Steve Jobs should just "chill out."

I understand there's been something of a kerfuffle over a lost iPhone prototype that might even have been a stolen iPhone prototype. Or not.

However, I could not decide whether this was news until America's foremost newscaster, Jon Stewart, offered an opinion on this pressing matter of state.

On Wednesday, Stewart declared that this was, indeed, a topic worthy of comment. On his Comedy Central show, Intelligent America's barometer seemed somewhat disturbed at the plight of Gizmodo editor Jason Chen.

Moreover, he seemed concerned that Apple, once the underdog, had become something of an overbearing hound. The word "Appholes" was displayed behind him as he offered an impassioned critique.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way--Microsoft was supposed to be the evil one! But you guys are busting down doors in Palo Alto while Commandant Gates is ridding the world of mosquitoes!" offered Stewart, his voice rising to a pitch normally reserved for the mealy mouthed machinations of Dick Cheney.

"I know that it is slightly agitating that a blog dedicated to technology published all that stuff about your new phone. And you didn't order the police to bust down the doors, right? I'd be pissed too," he continued. "But you didn't have to go all Minority Report on his ass! I mean, if you wanna break down someone's door, why don't you start with AT&T, for God sakes?"

Stewart even had a message for Apple CEO Steve Jobs: "Come on, Steve. Chill out with the paranoid corporate genius stuff. Don't go all Howard Hughes on us."

One can only wait for the verdict from Comedy Central's other fine news personality, Stephen Colbert. He might feel he could be in a prickly position as he has twice managed to beautifully advertise the iPad, first at the Grammys and then on his own show.

Will Colbert take Apple's side? Or will he sit on the fence until we hear if there is to be a criminal prosecution? And another thing. Does anyone know what the president thinks about all this?