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iPhone users would trade shoes, sex for phone

Survey by TeleNav finds that most of us are filthy, loveless, caffeine- and sex-starved smartphone addicts. Feature phone users, however, are retaining their humanity.

TeleNav found that a surprising number of people prefer their phones over other earthly pleasures (Click to enlarge.) TeleNav

The risk of stepping on a rusty nail and contracting tetanus is nothing like the horror of spending a full week without an iPhone.

That's the sentiment of more than 40 percent of iPhone users queried in a national TeleNav survey who say they'd prefer to go shoeless for a week than give up their beloved smartphone. To be fair, the survey respondents were not informed that there is no known app for treating tetanus.

The online survey asked 514 American owners of both smartphones and feature phones a number of probing questions about their relationship with their treasured device.

iPhone owners seemed to have the strongest connection, with 40 percent preferring to give up their toothbrush over their phone, as opposed to only 22 percent of Android owners valuing their phone more than oral hygiene.

Chronic halitosis shouldn't deter an iPhone owner in the romance department though, so long as the target of his or her affection is another iPhone fan. The survey found that 83 percent of iPhone users thought other iPhone users would make the best romantic partners.

To keep that relationship healthy, it's apparently important not to force your partner to choose between you and a phone.

One-third of survey respondents would be more willing to give up sex for a week than their phone. That's especially bad news for anyone who's a fan of females, because 70 percent of those who say they'd choose phone over sex are women (260 of survey respondents were female, 254 were male).

Meanwhile, 22 percent of smartphone users surveyed said they'd rather give up seeing their significant other for a week than leave their phone off. Ouch.

Life's other pleasures fared even worse than sex, meanwhile, with 70 percent willing to give up alcohol before their phone, 63 percent willing to forego chocolate, and 55 percent prepared to ditch caffeine. It's worth noting that survey participants were "of driving age," meaning they could be as young as 16, which may impact their willingness to give up the sex, alcohol and caffeine they may or may not be partaking in.

If you value manners and a polite society, you'll do better to hang around feature phone users--only 6 percent use their phone at the dinner table regularly, compared with 26 percent of smartphone users. You probably don't want to invite those smartphone users to dinner anyway. The survey--which seemed a little unscientific--found that they're twice as likely as feature phone owners to give up hot showers if you forced them to choose between cleanliness and connectedness.

We should of course point out that Telenav, a provider of consumer location-based services, has a vested interest in keeping us attached to our phones, particularly smartphones, at all times. But we still appreciate them pointing out how rude and dirty that attachment is making us.