$1,400 stimulus check timeline Apple to discontinue iMac Pro Intel's Thunderbolt International Women's Day Meghan Markle, Prince Harry and Oprah Tesla's Full Self-Driving Beta

iPhone 6 ads: Fallon, Timberlake, tittering

Apple has now released two iPhone 6 ads it showed at its launch event. They are blessedly silly.

That's Justin Timberlake on the right. I think. Or it could be Jimmy Fallon. It's hard to recognize them by their hands. Apple/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

I have spent the last 24 hours picking up random objects, in order to get an advance feel of which size iPhone 6 to get.

Will the Plus feel like a slice of toast held sideways? Will the mere 4.7-inch version feel like my iPhone 5 is stretching and yawning?

You might, however, have been lucky enough to see two new ads Apple is releasing in order to prod you toward bigger being bigger. Or better. Or just more Samsungy.

Your luck will likely have depended on the Apple live-stream -- an abject technological disaster yesterday -- not breaking down as they were played. So here are both ads in their splendor.

They feature the modern version of Bing and Bob: Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake. Well, their voices.

In the first we hear them perform the "Dun-Dun-Dun" of "Also Sprach Zarathustra," aka the "2001: A Space Odyssey" theme.

What we see is some apps, some swiping, the usual very simple Apple exposition.

In the second, Fallon and Timberlake actually speak. The latter is the iPhone 6 Plus. He is the bigger than bigger star, after all.

The two attempt to outdo each other on the health apps, because boys like to outdo each other with the size of their calorie intake these days. I think smaller is smaller, or less is more, or something, when it comes to stuffing your face.

It's all very nicely done, almost titter-worthy, and makes for a pleasant change from ordinary mortals clutching the phone and doing ordinary mortal things.

After all, now that Apple is a fully fledged fashion brand, it has to rise slightly higher, so that ordinary mortals can strain slightly more to keep up.