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Imaginary phone diagnosis: 'Vibranxiety'

You may have 'phantom vibration syndrome.'

No, you're not going crazy (necessarily) if you find yourself imagining that your phone is vibrating in one of your pockets. Or, if you are, you're far from alone.

That's the shorthand conclusion of a recent USA Today article that reports a phenomenon dubbed "phantom vibration syndrome," also known as "vibranxiety." So what causes this irritating ghost ring, anyway?

"You come armed with this template that leads you to be attentive to sensations that represent a cellphone vibrating," Jeffrey Janata, director of the behavioral medicine program at University Hospitals in Cleveland, told the newspaper. "And it leads you to over-incorporate non-vibratory sensations and attribute them to the idea that you're receiving a phone call."

Translation, please? Whatever. We still think it's part of the big conspiracy being beamed to our solar hats.