I'm a Mac user, but not one of THOSE Mac users.

ZDNet's Adrian Kingsley-Hughes offers his thoughts on Apple Matters' Steven Leigh's 8 Reasons Windows Users Don't Switch. Both provide invaluable lessons for Apple and Mac users.

Wait, the Macalope forgot that "invaluable" is the same "valuable". He meant "not valuable".

Sorry.

As an example of what the brown and furry one is talking about, let's take a look at Kingsley-Hughes personal "reality distortion" problems.

Sure, you can drop by an Apple store and take any Mac you want for a spin, but that's not the same as seeing it in action.

Uh... huh. That's kind of a weird thing to say because the Macalope would think that's exactly like seeing one in action. As a matter of fact, it's literally seeing one in action.

But, OK, it's not like using one for a couple of days. Unless you sleep in the store. And they don't like that. Because the Geniuses sleep in the store.

Having had the opportunity to use a Mac for an extended period I can honestly say that while some aspects of the Mac OS are easier than Windows, overall claiming that the platform is somehow intuitive and there's no learning curve is disingenuous.

First of all, the platform is somehow intuitive, Adrian. In some way, things about it can be said to be intuitive. Windows is even somehow intuitive.

(Linux is not, however.)

Second, has Artie MacStrawman been leaving those pamphlets he printed up lying around again? Because other than him, Adrian, the horny one thinks you'll find that what the Mac users who exist here in reality said was that there was "less of a learning curve".

What about the lies ?

Ah! Yes! What. About. The. Lies.

Kingsley-Hughes quotes Leigh:

One of the "Get a Mac" ads states that Windows is for spreadsheets and pie-charts, while Macs are for "fun stuff" like photos, movies, etc. To Mac users, this seems both funny and true.

It's not really that funny.

Windows users, however, are thinking of the aisles and aisles of games that are available for Windows, while there is a half-shelf devoted to games for the Mac.

Fair enough. The PC is a better platform for gaming than the Mac. And consoles are better than the PC.

I don't know about you, but I can only have so much fun playing with photos.

Yes, you don't know about the Macalope, do you? Lots of people love their families more than the Master Chief and Cortana (this low blow brought to you by the Low Blow Shack, for all your low blow needs, off I-95 in Sarasota).

Things like this just sound like lies, and they sometimes present Apple as a company that has to lie about its competitors to get business.

That's clearly a matter of opinion, but to Leigh they "sound like lies". Ahhh. They're... lie-iness, to turn a Stephen Colbertism on its head.

This lame example firm in pocket, Kingsley-Hughes sagely notes:

Lies create mistrust.

They do. They certainly do.

Leigh:

Can you imagine shopping for a car and having the salesman only talk about what's wrong with the competition's cars?

Yeah! What is up with that?! Almost as bad as a salesman who would only talk bad about his competitor's customers.

Kingsley-Hughes again:

Again, Jobs is preaching to the converted and fanning the flames of zealotry.

Noooooo, that's marketing. This is preaching to the converted and fanning the flames of zealotry. See the difference?

This constant "best iPod we've ever made" and "best phone we've ever made" is all hyperbole and given the recent number of backlashes we've seen against Apple, I'm guessing that the customer base has grown too big for the reality distortion field.

Huh? The iPhone is the best iPod Apple ever made. It's also the only phone they've ever made. What are you even talking about?! Plus, didn't you just finish favorably quoting someone who bitched and moaned about comparing yourself to your customers? Now Apple can't compare itself to itself, either? No comparisons!

Oookay, dude.

Leigh:

I've had many friends lecture me for hours on end that I was stupid not to switch, and all it did was push me further away. In contrast, when I got a chance to sit down and quietly use a Mac, I began to enjoy the experience, and luckily, a friend was smart enough to answer my questions and just let me play for a while, and it made all the difference.

Oh, so sorry we enjoy our computing platform and you'd apparently rather continue to suffer quietly. Sorry! Please continue your sub-standard computing experience in silence.

John Gruber has already adroitly remarked:

There's a whole class of recent switchers who define "Apple fanboy" as "anyone who's been an enthusiastic Mac user since before I switched to the Mac".

But, then, he's just another Mac zealot like the Macalope.