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I am not a radio: Alarm Clock MP3 Cube

Words like 'rad', 'wicked', and 'spank muffin' have dropped out of popular use, but radio trundles on unpertubed. Fed up with the way nothing makes sense anymore? Read on...

What's this? Another digital radio? Pass me the bored bucket, I'm about to chuck up a gallon of indifference vomit. No, pass me the guillotine of utter nonchalance, my head needs severing from its pathetically disillusioned body. Actually, wait a sec, this just might be an MP3 player and not a radio at all.

Thank generic deity unattached to any specific religious doctrine! The Alarm Clock MP3 Cube is actually an MP3 player disguised as a bedside radio. Granted, its 128MB capacity may give it all the memory retention skills of a tramp in the throes of a two-week meth binge, but at £39.99 who can complain? Built-in USB connectivity makes pumping raw MP3 over to this silo as easy as turning on the hot tap.

A backlit LCD means that you can check out the current time even in pitch-black circumstances. But the upward-facing display demands that you lift your skull packet clean off the pillow to check out what horrific hour you've regained consciousness.

Peculiar hieroglyphs on the front panel make operating the Alarm Clock MP3 Cube an exotic confusion. Like Bletchley Park cryptographers fumbling over the Enigma machine, your sleepy fingers will stumble uselessly across the alien markings like a greased-up monkey playing Twister.

If you're looking for a compact alarm clock that doesn't dose you with saccharine pop every morning, this is it. Expect a full review soon. -CS