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HP settles with Chubby Checker over manhood-length app

After the famous singer brought a lawsuit accusing a Palm app of trademark infringement, the two parties come to an agreement.

Chubby Checker, shoe size unknown. Barnaby Pinco/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

It's been too long.

More than a year, indeed, since Chubby Checker sued Hewlett-Packard because of an app that was called, well, Chubby Checker.

An app that was originally released to the Palm of your hand, it claimed to estimate the length of your manhood, if you told it your shoe size.

At the time, Checker's lawyers explained that this was not a man who had a checkered reputation. They insisted they were "preserving the integrity and legacy of a man who has spent years working hard at his musical craft and has earned the position of one of the greatest musical entertainers of all time."

I am twisting with glee, therefore, as Marketwatch revealed that the two parties have settled, though the terms of this settlement remain concealed.

HP became embroiled because it bought Palm in 2010. With it, HP bought this little bundle of trouble.

Its original argument was that it saw no reason to check whether the app had secured firm agreement from Checker, as the app had been made by an outside party.

A California judged gave this thought short shrift, also describing the app as "lascivious."

There were those who, in his day, thought Checker lascivious too. His name is most closely associated with a dance called the Twist, which in the 1950s appalled some for its suggestive nature.

The dance consisted of twisting motions toward the floor and back up again, a movement some said was patently tempting young people in the direction of carnality.

Ah, the lengths to which people will go in order to stir the masses.