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How to make sure your NCAA bracket is the winner (clue: EA's simulation)

EA's simulation did so well in the Superbowl that you might as well follow its predictions for March Madness, which starts in earnest Thursday.

Everyone has an NCAA bracket. It's like underwear. So few people come back home without it.

The problem is that the regular season of NCAA basketball might as well be sponsored by Xanax. It used to be wonderful and then players started leaving after one year of (not) attending college in order to turn pro. (See how many of your friends can name last year's Kansas starting five.)

In any case, the whole point of your NCAA bracket is to gain some superiority in your workplace of painful mediocrity.

So, because the Tournament starts tomorrow and because I care about you and decry the people you work with, please allow me to give you a hint: EA's "NCAA Basketball 2009" simulation.

Perhaps you may not be aware, but EA's "Madden 2009" simulation for the Superbowl was astoundingly accurate. (An example: it predicted the Steelers' Santonio Holmes would have 8 catches for 131 yards. He had 9 catches for, well, 131 yards.)

The Louisville mascot seems rather excited by the news, no? CC Kevin Coles

In case you don't want to pore over every part of the EA simulation, I can tell you that it has Louisville, Memphis, Pitt and North Carolina in its Final Four. With Louisville winning the whole thing.

Alright, perhaps you shouldn't totally rely on EA. You may also need a little luck along the way- last year's EA simulation only got 27 (out of 32) of the first-round games right. But I have a feeling, you know. Just a feeling.

Please allow me to recuse myself from this Tournament as I obsessively played ESPN's NBA Virtual GM in 2002, to the degree that it affected my very being. So I have promised those closest to me to steer clear of virtual joy.