Google's Moto X: It's so not nerdy, I could almost cry

Google wants you to bathe in the pretty colors and simplicity of its new phone. It's all weirdly human. The first ads even had a "That's what she said" joke and a penis joke. Are we sure this is Google?

Oh, my. Motorola

They sat around the room and some oddly well-dressed relic from Motorola spoke up: "We've got to think about teenage girls."

An engineer from Google looked up from his MacBook Air, grunted "perv" and then looked back down again.

This is how I imagine the first Moto X planning meetings went. The spec-wearers from Google wanted specs, the humans from Motorola wanted to sell, you know, things to people.

It's almost like witnessing an enchanted castle being planned by a team including Miley Cyrus and Timothy Geithner.The result is that the humans rather prevailed.

I glory in the notion of being able to choose from several pretty colors (initially only on the AT&T version) for the Moto X. Please imagine the joyous rainbow this will add to our bars, clubs, and classrooms.

I can only hope this is the first step in preventing the quite frightening blinging of phones that has caused harm to many eyes. I have my doubts, of course.

But the essence of the Moto X spirit lies surely in offering at least something that real people can warm to.

The design seems to vaguely hint at the Lumia series (but with far more apps) and might even make Samsungites believe that switching will give them a breath of fresh air, color, and plastic.

The Moto X is always listening to its owner, simply panting in anticipation of the words "OK, Google Now." Then it leaps to attention and does your bidding. All without you ever pressing a button or even stroking a screen.

The idea of talking to your phone is such a splendidly blasé way makes it easier for the young and human to remember the days of their invisible friend. The idea of your phone following your every move is surely the apogee of many a Facebooker's dream.

With the Moto X, you have one more permanent follower. And this one's actually intelligent.

Naturally, I wondered how Google would begin to communicate the Moto X's human wonders to the masses.

Oddly, it seems to have chosen a dirty joke or two. For immediately on launch, the Motorola site was adorned with an ad whose headline read: "Touch each other, not phones."

This was accompanied by the subhead: "Moto X responds to your voice, no touching necessary. (That's what she said.)"

No? Yes! No?

As the Atlantic reports, this last line was subsequently deleted.

But that wasn't all. There seemed to also be an ad aimed at women that offered: "Is bigger really better?"

This was also altered in favor of "Play Goldilocks and choose the right size for you."

Welcome to Google, where the humans have taken over the asylum. And the humans are all 13 years old.

Well, I declare. Motorola
Autoplay: ON Autoplay: OFF