Stephen Colbert is shrinking with rage.
As he explained a couple of days ago on his show, he regularly Googles himself and simply cannot take the fact that he is listed as 5 feet 10 inches when he is, in (his own) fact, an inch taller.
He demanded that Larry Page offer "a retraction, an investigation, an apology and a substantial cash settlement."
If he didn't get one, he promised fisticuffs: "Fix it, or I will fix you, Page. And yes, that is a physical threat."
You might imagine that the mild-mannered Page would accede to a star's demands. You might have thought he would fear being mocked from now till the Robot Uprising.
Instead, Google has offered a lovely riposte. If you search "How tall is Stephen Colbert," you get the answer "5 feet 10.5 ins (1.79m-ish)."
You also get a height comparison between Colbert and the far taller Larry Page (5 feet 11 ins) and Conan O'Brien (6 feet 4 ins). There is also a passing reference to tiny news anchor Jon Stewart.
I fear this is the beginning of a very icy war. I fear Colbert will bear down on Page and his cohorts. I fear Google buses being attacked and Sergey Brin's height being brought into public question.
Who will end up being cut down to size?