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Google on Father's Day: Real dads wear Google Glass

If you're not wearing Google Glass, you'll miss recording the joy of your kids as you're swinging them around. That's the suggestion of Google's latest Glass ad.

"Who's that scary guy swinging me around?" Google/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

It's not been the finest of weeks for Google Glass. Or the finest of months.

First, the Alamo Drafthouse movie theater chain demanded that any Glass wearers should remove them before the trailers begin.

Then, for reasons best known to their egos, six infamous Glass-wearers allowed themselves to be eviscerated for their self-righteousness by "The Daily Show."

Currently, therefore, if you're peddling Google's visually painful gadget, it's best to shave your head bald, so there's no hair left to tear out.

Still, Google's peddlers espied that Father's Day is upon us, so they thought they'd try and sprinkle a little fragrant pixie dust into the acrid atmosphere.

They released an ad that essentially declares real dads don their Google Glass before they swing their kiddies round and round.

Because, you see, you couldn't swing your kiddies round and round and clutch a cell phone.

Google's latest strategy is to insist that Glass is merely a cell phone that you wear on your head. Because you've always wanted to wear your cell phone on your head, haven't you?

So here we have happy, smiling kiddies being lifted and swung and loved by men wearing the eyewear of Lucrezia Borg.

Interestingly, Google offered this comment about dads on its own YouTube video: "They teach you how to ride your first bike, sneak you the last cookie when no one's looking, and they make sure there are no monsters under your bed."

It's always good to ensure that there are no under-bed monsters.

I wonder, though, whether there'll be any kids scared witless by weird, monster-looking glasses suddenly being worn by a man who vaguely looks like their dad.