I intend to spend April Fools' Day with my computer turned off, my phone on silent, and duvet cover wrapped over my head.
For this one day, jokes will abound, laughter will resound like today's thunder in the San Francisco Bay Area and everyone will think they're very clever.
It's well-known that Google is more clever than most. Especially by Google. So the company loves to garland the Web on April 1 with japes aplenty.
, the next trick up Google's flappy green sleeve is the Shelfie.
As people were logging on to their Gmail accounts, they saw a special offer: "Introducing Shelfie: selfies with personality."
To my mind, most selfies have quite enough personality already. Here, though, Google declares: "Selfie custom themes are incredibly popular in Gmail and they just got better. With Shelfies (Shareable Selfies) you can set your own photo as a Gmail custom theme and share it with your friends so they can enjoy looking at you as much as you do."
Who wouldn't want to be reminded of their client's good looks and penchant for hairy dogs and the Kansas City Chiefs, when they're waiting for an e-mail saying that their invoice has finally been paid?
Who wouldn't want to be staring at a gorgeously self-involved image of a happy person on a beach, when they're reading an e-mail saying their relationship has drifted to an end?
On its blog, Google added: "We think it's a tragedy that your handsome hair, luscious lashes and beautiful brows have been trapped in your own inbox. Until now, that is. Today, we're proud to free your selfies by launching Gmail Shelfie, the SHareable sELFIE."
You are free to create your own shelfie. Google does, though, offer you top trending shelfies to immediately use. I clicked on the button and guess what Google sent me? Why, my Gmail is now adorned with a vast image of Miss Piggy.
This is so ungrateful, given that Bloomberg Businessweek believes I was the inspiration for porn on Google Glass.
I wonder what shelfie Google will offer you. Or are you so deeply self-involved that you could only stomach your own handiwork?