This might be a good time to mention that a brand new iPhone X, which came out less than four months ago, costs $999.
Here's an idea: I'll give you $350 for your $1,000 iPhone X right now, no Galaxy S9 necessary! You can spend it on any phone you like.
I'll even give you cash. Unlike, say, Verizon, which only offers a $14.58 bill credit each month for the next two years.
(Sprint is also promoting this $350 trade-in deal, and T-Mobile is ready to offer you even more: Up to $360! Plus, AT&T uses the words "minimum of $350" in its press release -- so maybe you could get a little more there.)
Let's not dwell on the fact that Verizon's own trade-in website will offer you a $530 gift card for the phone, or that you could probably sell it on eBay for $800 easy.
I'm serious: Send me an iPhone X in good working condition, and this $350 is yours. (Offer only valid for the first phone received -- Sean isn't made of money, you know.)
Does that sound ridiculous? Of course it does. So why let carriers and phone makers do it to you?
: In-depth review of Samsung's newest phone
: In-depth review of the Samsung phone you really want.