It's time for a confession.
I used to have an assistant called Brandy. I drove her nuts, so much so that she went into comedy.
You see, when she had to book my flights, she'd have to remember I'd only fly in Boeings and Airbuses (please, don't ask). And when she had to book my hotels, she had to remember to find out if they had windows that opened.
After awhile, we came to understand each other. She understood that I was mentally impaired. I understood that she understood.
Now, perhaps in a fit of seeing "Her" too many times, there's an online personal travel manager that says it's Brandy.
Traxo believes, you see, that it knows where you want to stay before you do. Or, rather, instead of you searching Kayak and Orbitz and all those other fine, intensely time-consuming sites for just what you need, Brandy Traxo will do it for you.
You might wonder how it can do this. Well, it's the Traxo Factor. Which, one hopes, is more enjoyable than "The X Factor."
The Traxo Factor -- of course it's an exclusive and patent-pending and highly intelligent -- requires that you give Brandy Traxo the keys to all your travel loyalty accounts and booking records. Then she quickly cogitates.
Every time you are ready to travel somewhere, Brandy Traxo goes into action. She scours the Web, with your personality in her heart and perhaps a whiskey in her hand, to offer you the 10 very best, most personal hotel recommendations she can find.
You might sigh and say: "Yes, but I still have to find out whether these places have availability."
Ah, but you don't know Brandy Traxo. She's already done all that for you (how a dram of Johnny Walker can ease the online assistant's sinews).
Naturally, Traxo, which claims to be the world's most powerful personal travel manager, says it understands you because it tries harder.
It isn't so interested in what your friends like or recommend. Your friends aren't your friends because of the hotels they stay in. They're your friends because they know what you did 15 years ago at a yoga retreat in Maine.
Brandy Traxo observes. She's more interested in your quirks, your weirdnesses and your predilection for hotels that are as far away from a Starbucks as possible.
She looks for your patterns. She senses when your trip is business, personal or both.
Oh, this thing may well be good, but it'll never be as good as Brandy. It'll never be as funny.