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Finalists announced for Twitter star seance

The finalists for the Tweance, a seance via Twitter with selected dead celebrities, include some predictable corpses. But they also include William Shakespeare.

Perhaps you were one of those who voted for your favorite corpse to be one who will participate in the Tweance.

The Tweance? Yes, the Halloween seance to be performed upon the heavenly medium that is Twitter.

Famous and entirely reliable psychic Jayne Wallace is to tweet her way to and through heaven and hell this Friday, between the hours of 10 a.m. and midday British Thoroughly Awful Time (3 a.m. to 5 a.m. Pacific)

We, the grieving earthly leftbehinds, were asked by the organizers--some folks called Angels Fancy Dress--to vote for our most cherished and lost stars. However, time permitted that only four would be awoken from their eternal slumber by a tweet.

I can now reveal the entirely stunning news that Michael Jackson will be among the four and will unquestionably be answering the query that is on everyone's mind: are there fine doctors in heaven?

So does Shakespeare tweet on an iPhone or a BlackBerry? CC Pablo Sanchez/Flickr

Joining him in this immortal twittering spectacle will be, yes, truly, Kurt Cobain. And nuzzling up closely with his celestial cell phone will be River Phoenix.

The fourth member of this dead artists' supergroup might feel he has little in common with the other three.

He didn't seem to die of an overdose of one kind of drug or another. In fact, the worst thing he has ever been accused of was a spot of plagiarism and allowing himself to be portrayed in a movie by Joseph Fiennes.

Yes, you can go to at the appointed time and listen to William Shakespeare himself.

Does he feel love's labor has, indeed, been lost? Is his favorite movie "Hamlet" or "Macbeth?" And does he really have a thing for Gwyneth Paltrow?

I am deeply disappointed that Jeffrey Dahmer, Marilyn Monroe, Kenneth Lay, Anna-Nicole Smith, Chief Inspector Morse, Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopez, and Golda Meir failed to make the cut.

However, I feel sure that the presence of William Shakespeare will elevate the Tweance to the status of a permanent event in the world's spiritual calendar.