I wrote that headline several minutes ago and still a faintly uncomfortable feeling wafts through my main functional channels.
Erykah Badu, one of the world's finest and most moving singers, is so in love with Twitter that, even in the latter stages of a home birth just a couple of days ago, she tweeted while she squeezed.
She began the morning on her blog, touchingly entitled 'fatbellybella' with the lovely greeting: "Morning, I'm in labor.' But when her fingers became otherwise engaged, she let her man, the rapper Jay Electronica, take over.
Alright, it was fairly innocuous stuff. For example: "Labor has begun. Everybody stand back. No hospitals. No doctors. No medicine. We're waiting for the midwife to show."
But all I take from that is the phrase "everybody stand back." Will that be Erykah's new album? Will it be infused with soulful baby gurglings? Why should we stand back? Were there more intimate descriptions to come?
Yes, there were. Jay detailed the breaking of the waters and the depth of the dilations. Please, I want to be deeply involved in every new phenomenon. And I know that every one of Erykah's 4,500 followers was positively drinking in her breaking waters.
But if one becomes an object of twitterdom, how much is it polite to reveal?
Ought one tweet one's visits to the latrine? One's less than legal thoughts when a cyclist goes through a stop sign? One's methods of disposing of boogers? One's feelings about certain brands of underwear being luckier than others?
Has anyone at Twitter created a charter for this? Guidance is surely needed...before the FCC gets involved. (Anyone know if Janet Jackson is a twitterer?)
Erykah herself seems to have a strong handle on her Twitter decorum: anything goes. She has, allegedly, created a permanent living and breathing monument to Twitter by naming the newborn Twitty Milk.
You may think she is joking. However, her first two kids are called Seven Sirius (fathered by Andre 3000 from Outkast) and Puma Sabti (fathered by rapper D.O.C).