"I have the cancer of a 95-year-old Jewish man."
That's how TV writer Jason Elia described his current physical condition to ESPN 97.5 radio in Houston.
It seems to be a condition that became a deal-breaker for his girlfriend, who, he says, left him because she didn't want to, well, deal with his bladder cancer-- even though he has an 87 per cent chance of survival.
He says that she was so compassion-free that she still wanted him to give her the Super Bowl tickets he had bought for them both. Well, he'd only paid $8,000 for them. And what did it matter that he liked her so much that he had already bought an engagement ring and was going to propose to her at Xmas?
"She's still arguing with me every day constantly over them," Elia said of the tickets. She believes, he says, that if they were bought with her in mind, she should get them. A modern romantic, surely.
What was Elia to do? Well, being a modern romantic of his own modern genre, he decided to give his tickets to the person who gets him the most Twitter followers. The hashtag was #WinMyExsSuperBowlTicket. The rules were simple: You tweeted @notjasonelia and explained who persuaded you to send the tweet.
The competition seems to be over and Elia will be announcing the winner tomorrow.
You might still be wondering about the ex-girlfriend and her blood temperature. Well, it appears to have risen from frozen. For Elia tweeted yesterday at one of the ESPN presenters: "@johnwessling People tweeting her might not be in best my best interest at the moment. She heard the radio interview and is pissed."
Elia says he's not bitter. He says he simply wants someone to have the great experience that was denied him and hopes that the winner chooses to go to the game, rather than sell the tickets.
I have tried to discover whether there might be some element of hoax here, but failed. So I have to believe that ESPN radio wouldn't knowingly feature something of this pain and poignancy for mere guffaws.
But you never know. You never know, too, whether the ex might have tried to win the Twitter competition herself. Surely no one could be that cold. Surely.