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Smart Home

(Don't) Transform your Roomba into a robot bartender

For $20, the Stella Artois BART marketing gimmick will turn your robot vacuum cleaner into a motorized drink tray. Please do not buy it.

Stella Artois

The Stella Artois BART is yet another insult our robot overlords will surely use against us. With a name that's short for "bartending automated robotic technology," this $20 piece of plastic marketing flotsam supposedly converts your robot vacuum cleaner into a roaming party tray.

The BART is what it looks like, which is to say, a terrible idea. A clear cylindrical post has a flat cap piece on the bottom that you plop on top of your robot vacuum. On the top of the post is a round plastic serving tray. Five recessed holders in the tray's top are designed for holding four beer glasses and one snack bowl (bowl included).

For $20 the Stella Artois BART kit transforms your robot vacuum into a motorized party tray.

Stella Artois

Beer brewer Stella Artois, the outfit behind the BART, promises the contraption won't spill anything. This statement is incorrect. It will. Robot vacuums make abrupt turns. They spin. Unless your home has no furniture, walls or uneven flooring surfaces, this thing will spill your drinks. Which is beside the point. Again, this is a marketing exercise by Stella. Are you annoyed this product exists? Good! You're thinking about Stella! Do you want to buy one yourself (don't do this)? Even better! Now you're thinking about Stella and giving it money.

Stella also says you can print out the BART accessory with a 3D printer. All you need are the downloadable printer file and a large-format machine capable of printing huge parts. You don't own one. 

You can order a BART kit directly from the Stella Artois website. Repeat: Do not do this.

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