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David Lynch Teaches Typing is 'Twin Peaks' of typing games

Mavis Beacon this ain't. David Lynch Teaches Typing is a keyboard tutor that might seriously mess you up.

Amanda Kooser
Freelance writer Amanda C. Kooser covers gadgets and tech news with a twist for CNET. When not wallowing in weird gear and iPad apps for cats, she can be found tinkering with her 1956 DeSoto.
Amanda Kooser
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It all starts like a normal typing tutor game.

Screenshot by Amanda Kooser/CNET

We all love the peculiar darkness and unconventional stories and characters from David Lynch classics like "Twin Peaks" and "Blue Velvet." Why not dive into his unorthodox vision and improve our typing at the same time? 

David Lynch Teaches Typing is a free playable game from Rhino Stew Productions. You can download it from itch.io for Windows, Linux or Mac. 

My typing skills are pretty decent, but I'm always looking to improve them, especially if the journey comes with a floating rabbit head and a squirming bug I can't kill. 

The short game starts out fairly normally by teaching me the proper hand position on the home row. A pixelated Lynch head guides me through the steps. Rhino Stew's Lynch impersonator does a good job of replicating the director's distinct speech patterns. 

My first hint something isn't right is when Lynch instructs me to place my left index ring finger in the undulating bug that has replaced the keyboard. But that's OK. We have a quick recovery and move on to a two-finger typing speed test and a coffee-and-smoke break.

The relative calm doesn't last long as I'm soon thrust into a black-and-white nightmare world full of teeth, eyeballs, a dirty hallway and a baby crying. I'm disoriented and disturbed.

Thank you, David Lynch Teaches Typing, for pulling me out of my mundane office reality and sending me spiraling through a shadowy tunnel of uncertainty and danger where supernatural forces lurk at the edges of my vision. And I also feel more confident about my typing skills. 

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