Me: iPhone owner.
You: User of multiple cool, up-to-date gadgets. College degree not required.
Those lines weren't lifted from a Match.com ad, but they easily could be, if consumer electronics shopping site Retrevo is to be believed. As part of its ongoing Gadgetology study of people and electronics, the site surveyed 247 iPhone owners nationwide to find out what makes them tick. If you're infatuated with an iPhone owner, read on for tips; here's our interpretation of Retrevo's findings:
Hide your fax machine and landline the next time you have a date with an iPhone user: Retrevo says one in three iPhone owners view partners with out-of-date gadgets as a turnoff.
That college fund you were squirreling away for Harvard? Bust it out and spend it at Best Buy: Three to one, iPhone owners say they're attracted to someone with a cool gadget over someone with a college degree.
Stop spending so much time yapping and tapping on your phone: One in four iPhone users has broken up with a partner because that person spent too much time on their mobile device. (Wait, isn't that the pot calling the kettle gadget-obsessed?)
If you sense your significant other pulling back, immediately pretend that your computer or mobile phone is broken: One in three iPhone owners has dumped his or her significant other via text message or e-mail.
Porn-averse? Try pursuing a BlackBerry user: One in five iPhone owners admits to frequently watching "adult material" on his or her Apple device, twice as many as BlackBerry owners (see Retrevo's recent iPhone vs. BlackBerry Owners for more).
The company's study was conducted online by an independent panel of non-Retrevo users. Judging from the humorous and rather unflattering findings, though, the survey probably says less about iPhone users than it does about Retrevo's marketing department.
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