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Conan bares the naked truth about the iPad

His Team Coco mock ad gets dirty and comes clean with fast-moving images of torsos, showers, and a banana.

Wait, there's no porn on Apple products. Conan Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Conan O'Brien wants to be the most technologically savvy of all talk-show hosts.

He doesn't miss any opportunity to connect with the connected audience -- whether it's to mock Google Glass or to review something he can barely bear, like a video game.

His latest object of connection with you, the cool people, is the iPad.

Last night, he insisted that he'd got hold of a more honest -- and allegedly recently released -- spot in Apple's latest ad campaign.

You know the one, with vaguely jazzy music, subliminal words, and Apple cultists chanting.

Conan insisted that this spot reflected a spirit of true honesty that's not always evident in product advertising.

When it comes to the iPad, neither Apple nor he are convinced that people use them to read what used to be called newspapers.

The iPad isn't for gaming, either. It's for a different sort of playing altogether.

Yes, its most common use is allegedly to display pornographic material.

I confess I hadn't been aware of this interesting trend. The people I know who use iPads tend to obsessively shop online and send e-mails, just so that they can be by-lined: "Sent from my iPad."

Moreover, I feel sure that Apple has explained many times that there is no porn available on any of its products. Ever.

I have to conclude, therefore, that this ad was specifically created by Conan's people in order to boost online viewing.

Especially on iPads.