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Charles Darwin + Audiobook = Next-generation torture device

It'll make your head hurt.

Boing Boing

Boing Boing has alerted us to a public-domain audio recording of Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection that you can download and plunk onto your iPod. Now, I did a bit of the History of Science thing in college, and I must have taken at least four seminars in which Origin of Species was on the syllabus. I can consequently tell you that this is the most boring book ever written.

Yes, it's difficult to express just how influential a work of research and literature it was, and it's still obviously quite controversial today. Because of that, I was excited to be reading it the first time around back in my freshman-year "The Role of Science in European Expansion" class. Little did I know that Chuck D. spends very little time on the juicy stuff and spends way too many pages ruminating on farm animals. As a result, the prospect of an unabridged audiobook of this stuff makes me shudder. It's over 24 hours long! Forcing someone to listen to it would undoubtedly break him down like crumbly cheese. Don't tell the folks at Guantanamo Bay about this one...

However, if you're in the market for a next-generation torture device, there are some non-Darwin options out there. The most obvious example is Windows Vista. Or, there's this wacked-out head massager that CrunchGear thinks would make a nice gadget for coaxing secret information out of your enemies.