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'Cat Speaker' is in for a world of hurt

Hello Kitty will show no mercy.


Oh, the naivete of youth. There will always be some upstarts who think they can challenge a reigning monarch in any given region or field and, true to form, we now have one that foolishly thinks it can take on the supreme of all supremes: Hello Kitty.

The misguided pretender to the throne in question is Brightonnet, which has introduced its cleverly named "Cat Speaker," a feline-shaped MP3 system with a wired remote--is that an oxymoron?--that looks like a paw. According to Fareastgizmos, it's also supposed to be "scratch-proof" (groan).

Even more brazen, the impertinent pip-squeak is making its debut in Japan, the native land of Sanrio. But we have little doubt that the alpha feline will strike down this hapless challenger with barely a swat, perhaps even delivered by one of its robotic minons.