There are many words for "drunk" in England. There's "sozzled" and "plastered." There's "smashed" and "pissed."
This reflects the vast love the Brits have for getting utterly out of their faces. So how can anyone be surprised that a no-doubt blisteringly scientific study conducted on behalf of a photo-storage site called My Memory revealed that in 76 percent of British Facebook shots, the subjects are, allegedly, inebriated?
Let us consider this carefully. Photographs are often taken when people get together. In Britain people get together under only two circumstances: war and beverage-imbibing.
You see, the Brits can be psychotically reserved. There are all sorts of historical reasons for it, one being that it's never easy trying to talk without moving your lips. In order to surmount their reserve, Brits therefore ingest an insurmountable amount of alcohol.
Given that photographs are generally taken during one kind of social occasion of another--and that Britain is currently at war mostly with its European partners, a war that requires no troops--it is unsurprising that so many British Facebook photos involve excess alcoholizing.
It's true that the enactors of this survey--YouGov--looked at the Facebook pages of only 1,781 Brits before reaching their devastatingly prosaic conclusions.
But they might have reached an even higher percentage had they expanded their horizons.
Perhaps the saddest part of the survey was the section in which Brits showed just how much they enjoy embarrassing their friends. The Daily Mail reported that a hearty 65 percent of respondents said they had gone out of their way to deliberately tag someone on Facebook after capturing them in a difficult frame of mind.
Just to make things even more amusing, 26 percent of those questioned said they allowed their photos to be seen by anyone in the world. Well, they were always too drunk to work out Facebook's privacy settings. (Just a conjecture.)
There will be many fulminating at the dangers of corporations scouring Facebook to detect who among Brits is an habitual drinker. This is a pointless exercise. Everyone in Britain in an habitual drinker. Including, hopefully, the corporate types who are scouring Facebook as part of some vetting process.
It might well be that what they are really looking for are the renegade dullards who don't drink, don't pose drunk, and don't know how to have a good time.
You'll never progress in British corporations if you're like that.