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Beware the Star Trek Kingon Warp-Five Wedgie

In a new ad campaign to coincide with the opening of the Star Trek movie, Burger King takes the wedgie way beyond any place it has been before.

You have probably noticed that there's a new Star Trek movie.

You may not have noticed that a new Kingon (yes, Kingon) life form has descended upon our earth, ready to do strange things to us via our underwear. And our nipples.

Might I therefore familiarize you with just the first step in, no doubt, many, to avoid the Warp-Five Wedgie and Neon Nurple. To name just two debilitating, Gitmoesque forms of torture.

Yes, this is all part of a wonderfully batty new campaign for Burger King. Sheer genius, if you ask me. Even greater genius when you compare it with the painful bilge of the Red House furniture store.

Please, as you head into a new week, beware of any Kingons in your midst.