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AT&T offers unlimited romps on the beach (and on runways)

Commentary: AT&T shows ridiculous extremes in order to attract you to its unlimited offerings.

 Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


There's nothing like an unlimited number of couples romping unlimitedly.

AT&T/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Have you noticed that carriers are all telling similar stories these days?

Once, the idea of unlimited data seemed to have limited potential

Now they've suddenly realized, "Gosh, people just want to do everything on their phones and iPads all the time." So they're claiming that their unlimited plan is so much better than everyone else's unlimited plan.

AT&T's latest attempt to do this goes to ridiculous extremes.

Its new campaign involves, in one ad, a couple enjoying a romp on the beach. That's what couples do. They're often wearing white when they do it, which seems a touch impractical. 

Children watch and wonder what these silly people are doing. Sandcastles get squashed, as the lovers roll on them. 

In this case, however, the romp 'n' roll proceeds to a pedestrian crossing on a busy street, underneath a taxiing plane, into a forest and onto the top of a mountain.

The rompers plunge into the sea. Then they end up on the beach, where they encounter other white-clad, romp 'n' rollers who are so loved up that they have to keep rolling on.

The idea, should you have failed to grasp it, is that AT&T offers you unlimited romance. Because who doesn't want that?

You'll be relieved that the company has created other imaginative scenarios that will surely alter your view of its worth. There's unlimited hoops (yes, even the ref gets to dunk). There's also unlimited -- and unedifying -- recipes.

There's one thing every American surely wants: unlimited reality TV. This ad shows "Real Housewives"-style women throwing things at each other. One even gets impaled in the forehead with a stiletto (heel).

We have limitless capacity for entertainment in America. The question is whether these AT&T ads are entertaining enough for Americans to suddenly want to embrace its service for no other reason than it, too, embraces unlimited data. I fear not.

Especially when the smaller print at the end of the ads says: "After 22 GB of data usage, AT&T may slow speeds." Not so unlimited, then.