Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
Why has no one thought of it before?
Was Twitter really the closest we've managed to come?
Well, no. There's Lulu, where women rate their dates.
After all, we rate people every day -- on their looks, their demeanor, their clothes, their sheer personal awfulness.
Yet we've never been able to put a precise -- and most importantly, public -- number to our feelings about everyone. Until now.
Welcome, then -- and where were you all this time? -- to Peeple. Due to be released in November, this is an app that lets you treat people like you treat your local trattoria.
No, you can't book a table at their houses, but you can leave a review as to just how much you love/loathe/are indifferent to these beings. Anyone. All of them.
The Washington Post tells me that this pinnacle of human creation is the work of Nicole McCullough and Julia Cordray.
Headquartered in Calgary, Canada, the co-founders declare on Facebook that they are two best friends who moved to San Francisco (where else?) and created the app in 90 days.
I feel sure you'll enjoy their mission statement: "To find the good in you."
I've been looking for this for years. I can finally get above the one-star rating that people seem to give me all the time. If only I can find that goodness, I might become a two-star human being. That's enough to get by, isn't it?
Cordray told the Post that Peeple was a way to "showcase your character." You see, it's not a way to publicly denigrate and humiliate everyone you know. How could you even have imagined such a thing?
It's true that once your name is up there in Peeple's bright lights, you can't take it down unless someone has violated the site's terms of service.
For her part, McCullough claims the most important aspect of the venture is that it'll be so much easier to find people she can trust with her kids. Because the only way you know if someone is a decent human being is if they have at least 4 stars on Peeple.
Of course the site has clear rules. You have to use your real name. You have to prove that you know the person you're about to give one star to in a personal, professional or romantic context.
If you get a good rating, it appears automatically. If you get a bad one, there's a 48-hour window for you to, I don't know, call Judge Judy or something.
"We want to operate with thoughtfulness," Cordray told the Post.
Not everyone is enamored with the levels of thoughtfulness behind this idea.
For example, Facebook commenter Mark Stockton offered this: "One of my clients is a counselor and your app is probably going to allow him to retire from the droves of people that are about to get their lives destroyed by your app. To be honest it is going to be pretty interesting to see how much of a legal disaster this turns into, might be a lesson for everyone else."
Model Chrissy Teigen offered this on Twitter: "At least I signed up to have the world judge and grade me publicly. I f***ing hate this app and the boardroom table it was created around."
Of course, this could all be one big joke. In the sense of intentionally humorous, you understand.
Currently, Peeple's Web page is down and one of its promotional videos appears to have been removed. Might it have encountered something of a backlash? This despite having already a supposed valuation of $7.6 million. Could it be that five-star (in their heads) venture capitalists have invested?
Peeple wasn't immediately available for comment. I give it one star for that.
Still, given that we seem to adore commenting on everything, rating everything and generally being self-righteous, wouldn't it be wonderful if you could add your Peeple rating to your online dating profile or your LinkedIn self-promotion?
Oh, wouldn't it?