ArchPort: Walk a mile in that man's flashlights

Enter the ArchPort Sandals. They can even enter in the dark as each pair come with flashlights tucked into their soles.

That's this pair of shoes' claim to fame--the "first flip-flops with a flashlight in the sole." We didn't put hours of research into validating that statement as it seems a pretty safe boast. It's like saying you've made the first sport coat tie with a built-in melon baller--or a dress that charges your iPod. Who else was scrambling to wrench that claim away?

The folks at ArchPort say the little hoof-torches pack a slide-out lamp that fits into a small chamber tucked away in the arch of the sole (note: "Arch of the Sole" should not be confused with the little known, incomplete John Steinbeck novel of the same name). The bulbs project a cone of visible light that highlights the ground immediately in front of the owner, making night walking theoretically safer.

But the luminescent slippers beg a question. If the wearer is walking in an area so treacherous that he or she must spot-weld high beams to the feet to keep their pedicure secure, why wear sandals? How bad must your sweaty foot problem be that you can't sport closed-toe shoes when you do your buck and wing across a fire pit studded with broken glass?

ArchPort evidently thought of that particular product weakness and maximized its core proficiencies by making that same in-sole chamber available for a variety of items. The manufacturer says the compartments "are also suitable for carrying cash, credit cards, keys, and other small personal items. The sandals also come with a wallet clip that fits tightly in the sole, and a plastic bag for cash and other small items."

Now, we're cooking with gas. A hidden compartment in your shoes that can hold anything small enough to fit? The mind boggles at the endless possibilities. If the spirit moves you, you're welcome to suggest in the comments section below what you'd stash in your heel-abutting mini-closets.

This reporter has a couple of ideas. First of all, at least one of my foot drawers would be chock-full of a soft cheese product, probably something from Swiss Colony. I might fit cubes of an accompanying beef log in the other pedo-pocket, all for emergency snacking. Alternatively, I might look to adopt a small salamander or nocturnal frog and see if I could build a tiny tootsie terrarium down there.