Buy an Apple Watch and you'll go mad, says Nike

Commentary: A new series of ads for the Apple Watch Nike+ shows Kevin Hart going slowly insane.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


This is what's become of Kevin Hart. Sad!

Photo by Nike/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

There are only two types of people in the world: obsessive runners and normal human beings.

I can prove it.

Please just observe a new series of ads -- "The Man Who Kept Running" -- that Nike has created for the Apple Watch Nike+. This special watch is perfect for obsessive runners. It's also no good at all for normal human beings.

In the first video, we see comedian Kevin Hart. He seems perfectly normal. Well, perfectly normal for a comedian. But someone has given him an Apple Watch Nike+. I think it was someone from Nike. I think it was accompanied by a very large check.

In any case, the day after getting his watch Hart disappeared. We find him in the desert. He's running. That's pretty much all he does, save for occasionally stopping and occasionally talking nonsense. He admits to hearing a voice in his head.

He now has a long beard. He keeps on running. Wolves run after him.

In another video, we're at Day 75. Day 75 of what, you might ask. Of Kevin Hart going mad, I might answer.

He tries to drink water out of a cactus. He makes bestial noises. He waits until it's only 119 degrees Fahrenheit to go running again. Who does that? Runners who buy this watch, that's who.

In a third video, it's Day 86 and Hart just says "fist bump" over and over again. As Donald Trump might say: "Sad!"

In another video, we're at Day 98. Hart is standing on his head. Then he starts to run because he's competing, virtually of course, with Olympic gold medalist Mo Farah.

By this stage, even the wolves have given up on him.

There are seven videos in all. The core message is very simple: Please don't become this person.

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