Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
The world shuddered last week when mutterings suggested that Apple Watch sales were down 90 percent.
The mutterings -- based on a market research report -- may not have meant anything at all, but the world loves shuddering.
I'm not sure how much the world loves the Apple Watch yet. Even though I live in the epicenter of self-regarding progress, I've met few people who are committed to their device. Some whine about it (I do live in the Bay Area), while others just adore getting notifications more discreetly than on their phone.
Still, Apple seems undeterred (or, perhaps, nervous). It's released four new ads that insist the watch is a vital part of everyday life.
In one, two German women travel to Beijing, where the watch is very useful for local information such as exchange rates and for sending each other useful messages. Such as, um, "SOS."
In another, two Chinese women are wandering around Berlin and use the watch for translation and for getting the lyrics to songs (can you really read them on a little watch screen?). Honestly, if you can't sing along with the locals when you're traveling, you really are in a bind. And there's surely nothing more alluring than someone dancing while staring at their watch as they sing.
A third offers a family that's having a baby. The father, clearly in a little shock, sends a simple symbol via his watch to reveal the baby's sex. And a mom shows how much easier it is to answer a call with the watch -- if you have a wailing baby in your arms. (But will she hear anything?) Then there's one truly vital use: yes, playing noughts and crosses on a long flight.
The final ad shows another great use of the watch: nagging you to death so that you don't die. Apple is convinced of the watch's vital contribution to health. I wonder, though, whether people will stick with such nagging any more than they stick with going to the gym. Staying healthy is hard. Eating and drinking is not only easier, but more fun.
The Apple Watch is a hard road for Apple. The company hasn't released sales figures, which immediately raises both suspicions and hackles. How long will it be before it can be accepted as part of a daily routine?
Quite a while, I suspect.