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Apple tries to prove your AirPods won't fall out

Commentary: In new ads, Apple presents its new earpieces with suitable simplicity and an encouragement to dance on parked vehicles.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

Look, they don't fall out.

Apple/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

I'd hoped the launch ad would feature Tim Cook displaying his moves to a tune by One Republic.

After all, Apple's CEO insists that his AirPods never fall out of his ears when he's letting his hair down.

Sadly, Apple's new ads for its sawn-off ear jewelry that doubles as a listening device plow more conventional avenues.

Released Saturday, the ads say little and show much. Which is exactly how Apple ads should be.

In one, the AirPods are notes on a musical stave. It's blessedly simple, is carried along by the usual simple, alternative music and bears a beautiful echo of the brand's best times.

The main ad is a little, well, different.

It shows you that once you've got your AirPods in, you can dance on walls. Which, you know, is a cool maneuver if you can pull it off without pulling your hamstring.

But this is Lil' Buck. He can do anything. Dance on the side of a car, for example. Yes, without damaging the vehicle one bit. Oh, and then he's dancing upside down from theater buildings, too.

He's too scared to jump down from them, however.

There are shorter versions of this ad, which you can see here and here. One shows you how to double tap an AirPod to start the music. I can see dance studios all over the country offering Double-Tap classes.

The other reveals that all you have to do to pair your AirPods with your iPhone 7 is flip open the AirPod case.

Troubled Apple fanpersons might gripe that they wish you could pair the iPhone 7 so easily with the new MacBook Pro.

Of course, the subliminal (not very) message of these last two ads is that you can dance on walls, cars and theaters and your AirPods won't fall out.

One can only look forward to video of Cook performing one of these maneuvers at the next Apple party.