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Apple hypes strange effects of iPhone 8 Plus' camera

Commentary: In a new ad, Apple highlights the mesmerizing joy of Portrait Lighting on its new phone.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

Now, that looks professional.

Apple; YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

There's no point waiting for people to get excited about the iPhone X.

You have to keep selling the phones you already have.

Especially as -- so I was told by an Apple store employee -- the iPhone 8's camera is just as good as that of the X.

On Saturday, Apple released an ad that focuses on the iPhone 8 Plus' Portrait Lighting feature.

The whole purpose of Portrait Lighting is to make your pictures look like they were taken by Annie Leibovitz. That's the thing about technology, you see, it turns everyone into a professional.

Though it's still enjoying a little bit of Beta status, Portrait Lighting lets you preset certain effects. For example, Natural Light, Studio Light, Contour Light and Stage Light.

These aren't filters, Apple insists. Rather, the technology analyzes your face in real time and tries to make the best of it.

Here, we see a woman -- Shannon Wise of The Shacks -- walking down the street. 

For reasons not fully explained, she's miming the words to a song. In fact, it's her band's song from 2016. 

The song is all about the "strange effects" she's experiencing. These appear to be caused by the handsome man taking pictures of her.

She likes these effects. I know because she mimes her admission.

Indeed, the handsome photographer tries the various potential effects of Portrait Lighting before he and his subject settle on the perfect way to present her.

The whole effect is of an ethereal at-oneness with one's self. Finally, you can make every picture appear as if the photographer knew he was capturing someone important.

But does the feature have enough of a strange effect on you for you to buy an iPhone 8 Plus now, rather than wait until (officially) Nov. 3 when you can (but probably won't) get your iPhone X

I fear many are holding out for the X. Just so they can look even cooler holding it, you understand.

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