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Speakers

Apple HomePod wants to save you from your miserable existence

Commentary: A new Apple ad promises that once you get a HomePod, the walls of your living room will expand and you'll dance your blues away.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


fkapple

Don't worry, FKA Twigs. HomePod will change your life.

Apple/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Do you come home at night and stare into a gray, messy living room?

Do you sometimes stay out late, drinking with lonely strangers, so that you don't have to go home at all?

There's a cure. 

Spend $349 on an Apple HomePod, and your home's walls will expand, allowing you to disappear into a beautiful vortex of happy space. 

You may not be dancing on the ceiling, but you'll surely be dancing in a brand-new ballroom with colorfully psychedelic walls and a perfect wood floor.

Yes, I'm under the influence. But only under the influence of Apple's new four-minute HomePod extravaganza directed by Spike Jonze, the man who brought you "Being John Malkovich" and wrote, um, "Jackass: The Movie."

Here, we have celebrated dance performer FKA Twigs coming home after a dreary, draining, depressing day at work. But all it takes to change her world is to speak into the ether: "Hey, Siri. Play me something I'd like."

That's the beauty of these assistants, you see. They know you, and they know how to lift your spirits. 

Siri chooses "Til It's Over" by Anderson .Paak. (If you don't have a strange name in the art world, who are you?)

Instantly, FKA is transformed into A-OK. 

She's so invigorated that, at one point, a second FKA materializes to join her in the dance. With two FKA's, by the way, you can spell "Kafka."

Perhaps the presence of FKA gives HomePod additional musical cred, as Apple seeks to differentiate it from more-established smart speakers like Google Home and Amazon Echo. 

I, though, worry about the presence in this ad of FKA. 

You see, she once did an ad for, oh, Google Glass.

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