I am all for progress. But I am also all for my eyeballs. I went to the eye doctor the other day, and he said those strange flashes in my eye were nothing serious.
Now I'm thinking I'm part of an experiment, one I know nothing about.
You see, Ian Pearson, a man whose job title is 'futurologist', claims that in 10 years' time, we will all be able to insert a TV screen onto our eyeballs via contact lenses.
He told the Daily Mail: "You will just pop it into your eye in the morning and take it out at the end of the day." But would that mean I would be forced to watch The Young and the Restless? Every day? Even in meetings? Perhaps not. These devices would, apparently, be voice-activated.
Mr. Pearson also believes that we'll have digital tattoos. No, not ones that say "Momma, I love you." Rather, ones that pick up the feeling of whatever is happening onscreen and transferring it to your nervous system.
Which might be amusing, if one were watching, say, the Golden State Warriors pummeling the hapless, witless Utah Jazz. But a little more concerning if one were enjoying a rerun of Friday the 13th. Or another rivetingly truthful interview with Alex Rodriguez. Or any love scene featuring Keanu Reeves.
Apparently, most of the technology to make this happen already exists. Which leads me to believe that someone may have secretly implanted these lenses into my eyeballs. And the TV is on the blink.
I think I'll give Best Buy's Geek Squad a call and ask them to check my eyeballs out.