Santa is like the NSA, FBI, and CIA all wrapped up in one jolly red package. He's slipperier than James Bond and more elusive than Big Foot. He might know when you're asleep and when you're awake, but does he know that you just dropped $6,500 on a stakeout kit to catch him?
OpticsPlanet has added the $6,500 Santa Stakeout Kit to its catalog just in time to gear up for the holidays. One of the kit's key pieces is an Opmod Ghillie Suit in Snow Camo, to help you blend in with your snowy surroundings and reduce the chance of Santa spotting you first.
The kit contains 33 different items, including cold-weather clothing for your frigid nighttime watch outdoors, a tactical field ops watch to track the time, a tactical bottle opener to keep yourself stocked with adult beverages, and walkie-talkies for coordinating with your in-house team members keeping an eye on the fireplace.
Because Santa moves under cover of darkness, you'll make use of the night-vision pocket monocular, day/night security camera, thermal camera, and motion-sensor digital camera bundle, which should activate the moment Rudolph puts his dainty little hoof down on your roof.
The kit also includes synthetic mule deer female-in-heat scent to attract Santa's reindeer team. (Despite what you may have heard, it's possible that his reindeer are a bunch of males.)
One head-scratching inclusion is the Boker USA Bon Appetite Knife. What are you supposed to do with that? It's probably for dividing your Christmas cookies into bite-size pieces while you wait, but unscrupulous buyers may have their eyes on reindeer steaks for Christmas Day.
Though $6,500 might seem like a lot to spend on an attempt to capture evidence of Jolly Old Saint Nick, OpticsPlanet suggests using the kit at other times of the year for tracking the tooth fairy, locating the Boogeyman, or figuring out what your cat gets up to when it thinks you're not looking.