We love Amazon. From and to , the online behemoth has nearly everything your heart desires.
And when you've got such a massive inventory, you're bound to see some products with some odd reviews. These assessments are so darn bizarre that they're often gut-wrenchingly funny.
Some of these products — such as a mask of a horse's head — are expected to have wacky comments. But sometimes, seemingly ordinary Amazon goodies also get trolled by reviewers.
Below, we've listed products with hilariously weird reviews that are available on Amazon. Enjoy!
Wearing this mask might trick the horses into believing you're one of them.
An Amazon reviewer going by the name of ByronicHero wrote: "It is Day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own. I have grown to understand and respect their gentle ways. Now I question everything I thought I once knew and fear I am no longer capable of following through with my primary objective. I know that those who sent me will not relent. They will send others in my place... But we will be ready."
This totally real radioactive ore sample can be yours. But beware.
A reviewer named Lawrence Gonzalez wrote: "I left this product next to my pet lizard. Unfortunately, now he's 350 feet tall and is currently destroying Tokyo, Japan."
So that's how Godzilla was created...
You'll no longer have to hear that clicking sound with Nexus' silent mouse. Apparently, it's so quiet that it will save your failing relationship.
Amazon reviewer LooseSeal wrote: "My girlfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up because I would keep her awake at night with my constant mouse clicking. Not anymore! Consider this relationship saved. This mouse is so silent she will sometimes forget I'm even home and invite her lover over. He's a pretty cool guy."
These rival action figures are ready to go to war. Unfortunately, there are no winners.
An Amazon reviewer going by R. Jason wrote: "I bought the Bacon v. Tofu toys on the advice of my psychiatrist, who recommended that I physically act out to resolve my lingering conflict between eating healthy, which my mom wanted me to do, and gorging unrepentantly on food products comprised of 95 [percent] animal fat, like I wanted to do. After eight short months of bashing Bacon and Tofu together in the bath, I have resolved my inner conflict and released my food hangups. The key is that neither Bacon nor Tofu wins. They have to learn to co-exist peacefully together."
Bring the office to your car with this ergonomic desk that attaches to your car's steering wheel. Just watch out for those pesky pedestrians.
We found a review by an Amazon customer who goes by George Takei. (Is he the real deal? The review does mention a husband Brad, which the actor does, indeed have.) Anyhoo, the review: "My husband Brad always warns me not to try and update my Facebook page while I'm driving. 'You'll hit another pedestrian,' he says. 'This isn't the Enterprise, there isn't a deflector array.' Then along comes a miracle product like this! I can now happily fly at warp speed down the streets of Los Angeles, laptop or mobile device perched right in front of me, so I can keep both eyes right on it AND on the road. It's so much easier to ignore all the frightened screams and annoying honking when you've got Facebook to look at while driving. Thank you, Wheelmate!"
Plenty of reviewers seemed to think that this movie was missing something...
A reviewer going by the handle Bettina-a Lovely Lifestyle Blog wrote: "There were no wolves in the movie, but it was still good."