Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
Consider this a warning.
You'd better make mom happy on Sunday, or she might take the matter into her own hands.
Which will be embarrassing for you and even a threat to any potential inheritance.
I am moved to these portentous words by a survey that has exclusively dropped onto my screen.
It tells me that 40 percent of moms have been made unhappy by their Mother's Day experiences. It could be that, once upon a time, they kept this unhappiness to themselves.
In this survey, however, 12 percent said they were deeply hurt by the gifts that came their way. Another 12 percent said that they simply hadn't been recognized at all. (Do their kids deserve jail time for that? Some might think so.)
Ten percent said they were made miserable because they still had to do the housework. Another 9 percent said that their spouse had only cared about their own mom, not about the woman who'd brought children into the world.
Yet another 9 percent said the kids were simply half-hearted about it. A further 8 percent said that it had all felt forced and insincere, 7 percent complained that it was all over in a few minutes (I reserve the obvious commentary here) and a final 5 percent said their Mother's Day had been ruined by that hardy perennial: the family fight.
What can they do about it? It seems that 45 percent are ready to immediately buy themselves something online to dull the pain. What might they buy? Choices varied almost equally between shoes, jewelry, movie and concert tickets, a purse, nice clothes and makeup. Anything, indeed, that offers a tinge of the opposite emotion from the sad one they might be experiencing.
You will surely wonder who was behind this survey. It was conducted on behalf of SOASTA (pronounced like "toaster," not "Zoroaster.") You'll be moved into buying yourself a pick-me-up-something-leather online when I tell you that this company's business revolves around optimizing Web sites, so that they don't disappoint users.
I am prepared to forgive this stunning coincidence, even though I usually look at surveys with the same skeptical gurn I reserve for car salesmen.
This survey was performed between April 27-29 by Harris Interactive. It asked 680 American moms aged 18 to 65+ to bare their feelings. It smacks to me of certain depressing truths.
Moms see no reason why, having made many sacrifices, they should be treated shoddily.
Don't go through the motions. Show you care. Caring is about being thoughtful and surprising. And moms are no different from anyone else in finding it easy to drift online with the mere wave of their magic phones to make up for your miserable inadequacies.
Don't say that you didn't have enough notice. Love knows no excuses.