2HRS2GO: Wireless takes trading to absurd lengths

I have seen the next wave, and it is a trading terminal implanted in your brain.

It's the most logical way to go, right? Instant stock trading any time, any place. Get that stock moving the moment an idea formulates in your mind. No need to lose precious moments when you might give up 1/16 or even (heaven forbid) 1/8 of a point. That adds up to thousands of dollars! Thousands, I tell ya!

Ok, so the technology isn't quite there yet. But I'm sure Charles Schwab (NYSE: SCH) and its peers wish it was.

For now, the online brokers will make do with wireless service, dubbed "The next stock trading craze" by a ZDNet editor. "Stock trading on a PC will soon be so passe, as the next big boom will be in deal-making via handhelds and cell phones," declares the blurb beneath the headline.

Have an opinion on this?

The Reuters article goes on to predict "exponential growth" in wireless brokerage services.

All you online brokerage fans can fulfill your dream. That's right, now you act just like a Big-Time Wall Street Type: make sure you're in a prominent, public place, brandish your Palm Pilot with quick, aggressive movements, scan a few tickers quickly and culminate the ritual with an arbitrage-style mix of limit and stop orders.

Log onto Schwab, E*Trade Group (Nasdaq: EGRP) and TD Waterhouse Group (NYSE: TWE) while you're on the bus, on the plane (at least until it takes off), or on the john. And believe me, some of you will do all three as long as your wireless unit has batteries.

Pay no attention to those naysayers that blast short-term, momentum-driven trading. They're merely jealous because they lack the drive and gumption to stay on top of the market at all times.

Sign up for wireless now, and maybe you can even get a free month's worth of Tums or Kaopectate.

These wireless devices are only the first step.

Researchers are developing nanotechnology as we speak. What would be a more practical use than the neural brokerage? That Ameritrade Holdings (Nasdaq: AMTD) with the stock trading yoga group can turn its mental exercises into reality.

Wake up, buy a put option. Eat breakfast, check a quote. Drive the kids to school, hedge your bets with some precious metals. Be a billionaire before noon. Be a pro and let your whole life revolve around the market.

What a beautiful future.

Other issues:

Sycamore Networks

(Nasdaq: SCMR) In a press conference this morning, executives of this optical network equipment maker claimed the recent purchaseb of Chromatis Networks by Lucent Technologies (NYSE: LU) had nothing to with the Sirocco Systems acquisition that was announced today. I'm inclined to believe Sycamore. Sort of.

The stock market slump of April and May put many deals on hold. Now that stocks of Lucent, Sycamore and Cisco (Nasdaq: CSCO) have climbed at least a bit, their acquisition currency has regained its potency and companies are willing to sell out. Chances are, Chromatis and Sirocco simply waited for better market conditions.

But the Chromatis announcement probably accelerated Sycamore's plans a bit and convinced the company to hand over enough stock to turn this into a near-term dilutive deal, which is a dicey thing with Wall Street these days. Sycamore doesn't expect the deal to boost earnings until fiscal 2002. 22GO>