Love, Alexa-style: How to send a virtual hug with your Amazon Echo

"Reach out," the old jingled implored. "Reach out and touch someone." That was the 1980s, and the metaphor of physical touch helped humanize the still-nascent technology of long-distance phone calls.

Today, we don't pay extra to call people far away, but we do have Alexa. But Alexa doesn't reach out and just touch -- Alexa reaches out and hugs.

Last year, as the pandemic raged, Amazon quietly updated Alexa to let you send virtual hugs to friends and family. It's not the most elaborate interaction: Alexa plays a short (but endearing) little ringtone and lets the recipient know you've sent a hug. But it's darling -- think of it like an audible emoji -- and it's the perfect way to let someone know you've been thinking about them, even if you don't have anything in particular to say.

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There is, however, a small catch. You can't just go around hugging anybody and everybody. To receive an Alexa hug, the recipient has to also have an Alexa account. And even then, some people with Alexa might not be able to get a hug (or to hug you back) if they haven't yet set up their contacts the right way.

If that happens to you, we'll walk you through all the setup steps you need to do, plus help you explain to your less tech-savvy friends and family how to get this whole hugging affair underway. Here's what to know.

Love 2.0: How to send a hug with Alexa

To send some nonverbal love to friends or family, all you've got to say is, "Alexa, send [contact] a hug." If everything is set up the right way, they'll get the message on their connected Amazon Echo devices (and a notification in their Alexa mobile app, too).

To make sure this will work, you'll want to first dig into your Alexa app settings to make sure your contacts are synced and that (this is the important part) Alexa knows which of them have an Alexa account -- and which don't (keep reading to find out what to do for those who don't).

How to sync your phone contacts with Alexa

This part's easy. Once you've set Alexa to keep an eye on your phone contacts, anytime you add someone to your phone it'll also add them to your Alexa contacts. Here's how to set it and forget it:

1. Open the Alexa app, tap Communicate on the lower menu bar, then tap the contacts icon (the people icon) in the upper right corner.

2. In the same spot on the next screen, tap the More (three stacked dots) icon.

3. Midway down the screen, beneath Import Contacts, does it say Enabled? If it does, you're good to go. If not, tap Import Contacts and move the toggle to the on position.

There's a difference between some contacts and others

Once you've turned on Import Contacts, Alexa will scan your synced contact list looking for email addresses and phone numbers that are already registered with Alexa. When you tap on those contacts, you'll see options like Alexa Calling & Messaging and a toggle labeled Allow Drop In that can give them permission to drop in on your Alexa devices (apparently some people want that?).

With these contacts, you're done. You can use Alexa to call, video call, message or hug them to your heart's content. 

It's the other contacts, the ones that say Invite [contact] to connect on Alexa that you need to nudge a little to get this all to work. 

What's the problem, Alexa?

Say you want to send your mom a hug, but her Alexa device is registered to your dad's account. She might show up as a regular (i.e., non-Alexa) contact and you won't be able to send her a hug. Or maybe you'd like to give your grandma or grandpa a virtual squeeze, but smart speakers are a little too Generation Next for them.

All hope is not lost. Those people will still show up in your Alexa contact list, but you can't interact with them through Alexa just yet.

How to connect with non-Alexa contacts

First, navigate to the non-Alexa contact with whom you'd like to use Alexa to connect (Alexa app > Communicate > Contacts icon > contact name). To the right of where it says Invite [contact] to connect on Alexa you'll see a little envelope icon. If you tap it, your phone should automatically pull up your messaging app with a text that reads, "Let's connect on the Alexa app! We can video call, message, and more. Get it at: [URL]."

All that link really does is direct the recipient to their respective version of the Alexa mobile app (whether iOS or Android). So, depending on their technological chops, you can just as easily skip the generic message and just tell them to download the Alexa app to their phone in your own words. 

OK, they've downloaded the Alexa app -- now what?

Once they have the Alexa mobile app installed on their phone, there are three ways to go about signing into it, each with pros and cons.

If they don't have Alexa, have never had Alexa and would never have gotten Alexa were you not insisting that they do so now, they should sign in with their Amazon account. (Surely they have that, right?) Fun fact: You don't have to actually own an Amazon Echo device to use the Alexa mobile app.

If they live in an Alexa household that's connected to someone else's Amazon account and they neither have nor want their own Amazon or Alexa login, they can sign in with the other household member's credentials. The upside for them is this is the most hassle-free way to go about it. The downside for you, however, is that you'll have to remember, for example, that "Dad" means "Dad" and "Mom" and "Mom and Dad."

Finally, if someone else in their house controls the primary Alexa account and they'd like to have their own individualized experience with Alexa, they'll need to create their own personal account and have the primary account holder add them to their Alexa account (here's how to do all of that). 

This last way is, of course, the most difficult and complicated for them, at least in the moment. But it's the easiest for you and, in the long run, it will probably be more convenient for them as well.