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General discussion

Would you secretly monitor your kids online activities?

Apr 18, 2014 9:03AM PDT
Would you secretly monitor your kids online activities?

-- Yes. (Why?)
-- No. (Why not?)
-- Maybe. (Please explain.)
-- I don't have kids. (But what if you did?)

VOTE HERE:
http://forums.cnet.com/2706-21566_102-2410.html

Note: This post was edited by its original author on 04/18/2014 at 4:05 PM PT

Discussion is locked

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Monitor? Yes. Secretly? No.
Apr 18, 2014 10:38AM PDT

I have a son who is now 19, but ever since he started using the computer, he has been put on notice that we, as his parents, would be keeping an eye on what he does online, and that even when we weren't watching, he should act as if we were. Does this mean that he never visited inappropriate sites? No, but it means that when he was caught doing so, we could sit down with him and explain why that site was inappropriate.

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No, never did, never will.
Apr 18, 2014 12:07PM PDT

My answer today is the same as 14 years ago, though for a different reason. My wife and I taught all three kids right from wrong and trust them to know what is right and what is wrong. Secretly monitoring their internet usage would be wrong, and they would know that and it would violate their trust in us. Besides, there is no "secretly" on the internet. We have taught them that when posting on Facebook, pretend your post is going to be published on the front page of tomorrows newspaper.

If had issues on the internet, we expected them to come to us, which they did when they were in grade, middle and high school. Now they are all three college-age-plus adults and there is no need for us to monitor, let alone secretly monitor. They even opened up to "old" Mom and Dad to "friend" us on Facebook a number of years ago. Imagine that!

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no kids, but maybe I will
Jul 15, 2014 6:40PM PDT
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No, but...
Apr 18, 2014 12:55PM PDT

My kids were not allowed to the internet without my direct supervision. I did not secretly monitor them.

Now my kids have kids. They are not monitored at all. I don't approve.

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YES
Apr 19, 2014 9:30AM PDT

Need to keep my children safe by knowing what they do when I'm not there.
Now I released from worried with cell phone spy software

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Rules were set, and monitoring was used for verification
Apr 20, 2014 1:39PM PDT

In our household of three children under the age of 10, we taught our children that there were dangerous people online who might take advantage of them. We told them that monitoring software would be installed to:

1) Restrict the hours when they could use the computer
2) Block inappropriate content
3) Report back if they repeatedly broke the rules

So, the monitoring wasn't "secret", but it was always present; and once they learned the boundaries and understood why we were being restrictive, things went more smoothly.

Yes, we had complaints that their friends' parents weren't so strict; but our children grew into healthy adults, and now that they are parents, they also use monitoring software with their children.

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cyber bullying
Apr 24, 2014 7:23PM PDT
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no
Jun 16, 2014 12:12AM PDT

I don't think that this is a good idea - my kids are smart, so they just have to be in charge of what they watch, read, etc.

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My answer...
Aug 18, 2014 12:51AM PDT

I trust my children. No I am not doing that sort of work.

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Yes, I'll do
Dec 29, 2014 6:32PM PST

There are always pros and cons to using monitoring software. What works with one kid might not work with another. And the parents are different too... A method used by one parent may not work for another. I monitored my daughter 3 years, until she went to college at the age of eighteen. I used an invisible monitoring program (Spytector - http://www.spytector.com ) and my daughter had no clue about that until I told her. She was a bit surprised about the monitoring but she fully undrestood the reasons for that. I can guarantee you our relationship isn't destroyed at all.

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Yes
Jan 11, 2015 4:06PM PST

Kids don't have complete knowledge of the society or the norms they may be quite sure of, they should have the freedom of exploration and obtain any information that is necessary for them. But who is going to decide what's necessary for them? Like they don't need to know about the bad stuff (that is unique to every society and can't be generalized through out the world) having to visit adult sites or browsing through the criminal stuff or what if someone uses their premature brains to do something wrong (and I mean seriously wrong). So, parents should keep an eye on their activities and not disrupt them every now and then by saying do this and don't do that. If they feel that there is something seriously wrong instead of insulting them to death they should have a sitting with them and tell them what are the side effects of wrong deed and if they are hurting someone what it would feel if they are hurt themselves. They should know to treat everyone with respect so that they themselves are respected by everyone.

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No Kids
Mar 10, 2015 7:49PM PDT

I have no kids.But i will,i will monitor them but not secretly.They need to know what is right for them and what's wrong.If i will not monitor them,then maybe they could do stuff that they shouldn't be doing.

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Been there, done that, will not do it again.
Mar 17, 2015 9:02PM PDT

Just to put in some personal experience into the discussion: We actually did monitor my kids secretly with a Keylogger, due to my wife bragging and nagging about to do it. Technically it worked perfectly, we used a software called Wolfeye Windows Keylogger and it recorded every keystroke and took regularly screenshots, sending the data to wifeys email... So she could follow thoroughly. I say technically and used as it caused, as I was expecting it, quite an issue and moreover a lack of trust after one of our boys found out about it... So whatever you do, do it openly, talk and explain, it will be the better solution. Not to mention that in the end you may always lose, if there is nothing happening at all, there is still a trust breach, and that will be broken also if there is something going on and you need to intervene. So no matter how good your monitoring software is, it will not solve the topic. Only trust and talking will do the job of securing your kids online activities.

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no
Mar 30, 2015 1:50AM PDT

I only let my kids use internet while I am around them. So I don't have to do it secretly.

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--Dependant on Age
Mar 31, 2015 1:26PM PDT

If my kid were below the age of 12, I would monitor.

Once they have passed that mark - I think they deserve some privacy.

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Yes
Jul 14, 2015 1:32AM PDT

I think MaxxSpy is an excellent choice (the only choice) for parents with kids who have smartphone on Android. My kids are told they must use Wi-Fi when at all possible because with 10 devices in our home if we don't use Wi-Fi it gets very expensive. I hit the back-up to iCloud button every several days, I don't always have time to check the messages, but they're there if I want to. I have found several issues that I needed to discuss with the kids and teach them how to handle even since installing MaxxSpy.

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Yes
Jul 17, 2015 2:50AM PDT

There are various softwares through which we can monitor the internet activities. Which are directly connected to your smart phones and give you the notifications of every activity which has been done on the internet.