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General discussion

Would you have done that to your daugther's laptop?

Feb 13, 2012 8:54AM PST

To give you some context to this poll, read this blog here:
Teen whines about parents on Facebook, dad shoots laptop

Would you have done what father Tommy Jordan did to his daughter's laptop?


-- Yes. (Shot the laptop? Or something else?)
-- No. (Why not? What would you had done differently?)
-- It depends. (Depends on what?)
-- I don't know; I'm not a parent yet. (Let's pretend you were, would you?)

Note: This post was edited by its original author to edit one of the selections on 02/14/2012 at 9:28 AM PT

Discussion is locked

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shooting the laptop ?
Feb 14, 2012 4:36PM PST

seriously, respect has to be earned , not saying she does not deserve what happened but maybe it was a last resort , seems to me there is a lot more to this story than everyone knows. The question of respect , money and facebook giving promises that obviously meant nothing to the person createing the message online and the fact the parent had no idea of how his daughter was going to publicly display her feelings about home online. Then there was the entitlement she felt she deserved , now there is a question that should be answered . But, as I stated the laptop could have been recycled for later use but recycled never the less they are getting a bit much on the pricey side fact remains the respect shown to her family is perhaps the more important issue her , and how the father displayed his angry could use some interest prehaps deeper issues are embedded here no one knows about. Just saying it isn't fair blaming the laptop after all the keys don't type themselves now do they ?

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Why would I?
Feb 14, 2012 5:34PM PST

Well, it depends. If my daughter haven't done anything wrong, why would I?

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Would sell it on Ebay instead to recover some money
Feb 14, 2012 6:47PM PST

Most people I know would take it and sell it, not shoot it. That would recover some of the money put into it and still get it out of the house and her hands. Spoiled brat comes to mind from the whole thing. Seems like they gave her too much and didn't have her work for it (when she was younger).

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Agree!
Feb 15, 2012 4:44PM PST

Well, I agree with BCW142's idea of selling it instead of shooting it if my daughter have done something bad. Well, I least I can have some money in return than totally have nothing from it in return after buying it at expensive price!

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dad shoots pc
Feb 14, 2012 8:53PM PST

No I would have not shot the PC, because I would have paid for it. I would have either confiscated it or given it to someone who is deserving of it. Here in South Africa, PC's are so expensive that it would have hurt me more to destroy it. Rather ground the child, deny privileges, pocket money etc. If we are unable to control ourselves, and I have two teenaged girls, who made my cry out of despair, last week, then we cant expect our children to control themselves either.
The toughest job in world is being a parent.

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Would you have done what father Tommy Jordan did to his daug
Feb 14, 2012 9:09PM PST

No. Father's action is so extreme that it borders on the insane. In fact he should be arrested and charged by the police. What he has done is just one step short of committing murder!

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Anger and after
Feb 14, 2012 9:11PM PST

The only way to deal with such family conflicts is calm discussion. Same goes for conflicts between friends.
If it's not possible in the family then you need a mediator. If not possible between friends, then you're not friends at all.
Milo Edwards, Manchester, England

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Don' t shoot the laptop
Feb 14, 2012 9:48PM PST

When my wife and I were first married i ended our arguments by punching the wall. After repairing the wall I realized how immature this was and quit doing it. The laptop is not the problem the parent is. Our children should be able to share their feelings with the family personally and not have to unload online. Time should be spent developing relationships with our friends and families so that when problems occur the kids are comfortable in coming to the parents first. How is that child going to do their schoolwork without the laptop??

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These kids need to learn to respect their parents.
Feb 15, 2012 4:18AM PST

Shooting the laptop is extreme I agree, but kids should not disrespect their parents by putting their family business on the network. These kids this day in time donot know what respect is for their parents.

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Haven't walked in his shoes
Feb 14, 2012 9:52PM PST

Wow, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to find that every single perfect parent had responded to this thread ahead of me - the ones that never made a mistake raising their kids, had all the right answers to every single question and never EVER doubted that they were doing the right thing and are absolutely positive that their kids would NEVER do anything wrong.
Thank goodness I'm not one of them. I have 2 kids, both in college - they are both good kids, but we've had our problems now and then - both my wife (25 years this June) and myself - and while it's been a 95% joy ride with these kids, that other 5% often made us wonder whether or not we had done something wrong ... somewhere along the way, that we ust couldn't recall ... to give our kids some kind of wrong message in some way. Everybody's heard the expression "there's no manual for raising a kid" - which of course is true - and each kid is different, fundamentally and forever - so no single parenting method will ever work for more than one kid.
Who's to say this father is a bad parent? A FRUSTRATED parent, yes - obviously. And wouldn't a parent who had been trying to do the right thing all along be more frustrated than just plain resigned to the fact if his kid did something like this? If he were a bad parent all along, I'd expect him to not care nearly so much and not find such an outrageously extreme way of expressing the frustration he so obviously felt. We don't know the entire background of his relationship with his daughter, so I for one don't want to prejudge him. Sure, I would like to think I wouldn't SHOOT her computer (especially since I don't own a gun) - but unless I had a well-thought-out plan prepared ahead of time, I can honestly say I have no idea what would be the first idea that popped into my head at that moment. Anger, frustration and disappointment can lead us to very unusual snap-judgements, and from there we can't undo what we did in a sudden fit of anger.
I'm glad to say I never had a problem just like this one - our family has always had a pretty open dialog ... even though there were times when it wasn't put to good use ... but I've done stupid things out of anger that I later regretted; if anybody can honestly say they never have, they're either lying or have very, very bad memories.
In the end, I hope I'd have thought of just removing the hard drive or using some other method of merely disabling the laptop temporarily, rather than permanently - but as the saying goes (since this thread seems to have become a repository of many other good old sayings) - Act in haste, repent in leisure.

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Well, the question wasn't whether the father did right
Feb 15, 2012 3:37AM PST

The question is would we have done the same? You are judging the other posters and you still didn't answer the question. Of course none of us are perfect, but we are also not all the same. Each of us would have had a different reaction to the situation.

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(NT) The problem is with the video - discipline should have been
Feb 15, 2012 12:08AM PST
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Laptop situation
Feb 15, 2012 12:31AM PST

The laptop did not do the posting, so why shoot it. He needs to sit his children down and talk to them about respecting what their parents go through to give them what they need for everyday living responsibilities and childrens reponsibilities around the house and growing up in life.

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shooting daughters computer
Feb 15, 2012 6:39AM PST

Hell yes,and then some.
Seems to me there is a lack of respect in this younger generation, Its all have to have or gimme, a lot of kids don't do a thing around the house, but want the very best of everything.
then want the car to hang out, What is wrong here, I still respect my parents and I am 68 yrs. old.

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Yes, but ...
Feb 18, 2012 4:54PM PST

Right, you still respect your father and that is good.

But could you respect a father like this? Like others have said here, the daughter is at least partially the result of the role model that her father constitutes. Meaning, she is up against incredible odds.

Respect:

To give respect is definitely something we need to learn and our elders need to teach us that, preferably by example. But one important element of this equation is that respect also needs to be earned. And I don't see where this father has done either - taught or earned respect. So he was reaping what he had sowed. And by shooting that laptop he managed to solidify his message of disrespect.

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What to do
Feb 15, 2012 8:13AM PST

If I decided that restricting the use was the punishment to be used, I'd try that first.

If she was the owner of the unit, then if restriction could not be effective, removal from use and/or the sale/ or gifting to a charitable group could be considered and the value or funds would be hers.

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Incredible!
Feb 15, 2012 10:56PM PST

It amazes me that anyone would think that shooting the laptop is okay. Of course the guy is upset, angry even, but . . . the only thing he is teaching his daughter is that rash anger is appropriate, even to the point of physical violence. Don't think for a moment that the violence was only directed to the laptop . . .everyone in this guy's family should be traumatised - if they're not, it's because they've lived with it so long, it no longer has any effect.

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Atta boy DAD
Feb 16, 2012 2:23AM PST

Forget responsibility,common sense and cognitive reasoning, teach your teenager right, when frustrated react with deadly violence ah the perfect role model and people wonder why there is violent incidents in our schools. This behavior is not inherent, it is learned and the major contributor is the at home environment

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Is this a Public School system Error?
Feb 18, 2012 10:09AM PST

i'd like to to say the Public school system and the home are both contributing factors ... Has anyone any idea why we are in the worst economic crisis since the the 30's ....Napoleon Hill writes something about reforming the way we are learning. The lesson that child will learn is not one of love and respect, she will will learn to take a gun or other tool to get what she wants... instead of giving first in order to get. Hill wiites that if the schools and the homes and the churches were to practice the Golden Rule, and if His Law of Success program were taught in the school system of 1925 [just after Wiorld War I] ... To my knowledge, no Public school system in the world teaches his philosophy of Success, .They train people to be good followers instead of to think for themselves.

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No way... waste of a good laptop
Feb 21, 2012 3:24AM PST

This looks like kids raising kids to me.

A childish complaint from a child followed up by an even worse childish response from a "parent". That's not my opinion sir... that's a fact.

Here's MHO for whatever that's worth sir lol...

IMHO you just taught the child ZERO useful skills and you produced ZERO useful results.

Come on man !!