Why parents drink....;-)

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst
premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and
you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I
knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos,
tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But
it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be
very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has
opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll
be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live
nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.Don't
worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure
that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John PS.
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me
when it's safe to come home.