Agree that being bullied, especially for youngsters, can be a devastating experience. I would never argue that point.
For those who cry that they are being "bullied" on the Internet, in a forum/chat room, however, I think is stretching the point quite a bit.
A child may truly have very few choices of where he/she is located, maybe no choice at all. Therefore, the child is helpless in the situation, especially if there is no adult to intervene. On the Internet, one has literally hundreds of thousands of choices of where to "be." If you find yourself in a place where you don't like the people (and maybe they have shown they don't like you, either), then there is nothing stopping you from moving on.
I was never subjected to bullying when I was a youngster. I did, however, often stick up for others who were being harrassed unfairly. I will still do the same even now IF the person needs any assistance from myself. I have come to the realization as an adult that quite often my sticking my nose into it is usually unnecessary and/or only makes it worse. I do mess up with that on occasion
I agree with what you say, whether as regards adults or children. Can I add these extra words:
Therefore, the child is helpless in the situation, especially if there is no adult to intervene.
"Or if no adult is prepared to intervene."
I don't think this is in accord with the thrust of your message, but, as you know, my brain is often dead but it won't lie down (as they say).
Perfect choice of a word - "prepared" - to add to that statement. Oftentimes I have seen that the adult(s) who SHOULD intervene for a child (parent/guardian) are not "prepared" to do so because of skills they, themselves, are lacking. Also, I have seen that the other adults (such as school employees) will not intervene because it opens a can of worms that they don't want to deal with (the old saying comes to play "hear no evil...speak no evil...etc.)
.... is alive and well, and operating at full capacity in all lobes!
click here to email firstname.lastname@example.org
Not specifically to you Marcia, just needed a place to attach this.
ROTFL, it's unbelievable how everything ends up "about Speakeasy". People there is whole world out there full of real live people living their lives the best way they know how. Some of them even need help.
Considering the tropic I find it hard to believe no one bothered to address it. Most of the members here on the board probably don't have any school age children but we have grandchildren or great grandchildren. In many case grandparents can be of more help to a child dealing with a problem than the parents can.
We post what interests us the most. C L appears (no, I don't have any proof) to be rather young. Maybe she has young children and this topic might be very important to her. Maybe she was looking for some insight, some feedback some advice, some sharing.
I bet no one even read the links. Grandparents, this may be of great value to you and enable you to be of help to young people whether they are your own or live next door. I found the information found on these pages to be excellent.
Advice and various helps here:
Rosalie, perhaps some of us view it as CL's self-help program-of-the-week for SE members. If they got off their butts and dieted and exercised a few days ago, now there is another change to be made to improve somehow.
All well and good, but how is this different than posting a news article without a reason given for posting that others requested before? Then there is the other issue that CL seems to have developed a little cheering squad that shows up to champion the latest post regardless of their own background on the matter. To my knowledge, at least one of the cheering squad has neither kids nor grandkids, and this only would apply in the most abstract sense, yet there we go with an enthusiastic rush-to-post in support. The self-congratulatory entourage, perhaps detracts from the message for some people here.
Besides, if you want a really good site on this topic (and Web safety plus other great info), go to Dale's: http://www.safetsurfa.co.uk/
Diane, I suggested. Chorus Line suggested. But, matters not ......
If in a backsided way you are referring to Charlie ..... well Charlie has been very successful and felt much rewarded in counseling a young man that lives next door to him with a very difficult and ..er.. colorful grandmother. The kid is lucky to have Charlie's ear and shoulder. And fortunately because of his past work experience he had the know-how to help. Never hurts to pick up a little knowledge that can be used to help others.
With all respects to safe's site, which you noticed wasn't linked to in the original post, the pages C L linked to are very good. I guess you didn't bother reading any of them.
Rosalie, I looked at the sites. I've read the books on the subject, and even posted a suggestion when talking to Evie, if I recall correctly, at the ZD forums. One, book I particularly liked that was dealing more globally with issues of harm to the kids is this one (link from Amazon for your info): And Words Can Hurt Forever : How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence
by James Garbarino, Ellen deLara. Other books on this page are appear to be very good, but I have not read them all, so can't do a full recommendation. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/002-8115710-6736052
I started working the Hotlines in Los Angeles County when I was in high school, and have, (thanks to the federal, state, and local governments), had years of specialized training in areas having to do with counseling and helping both kids and adults. I've assisted at the schools out here as well as having worked Juvenile Court two times, seven months each time. We dealt with victims, bullies, criminals, and their families and friends of each group. That's in addition to real-life experience of having our own kids and youngsters in the family.
And I'm also very, very famliar with Charlie and his neighbor (other neighbors too, remember?), if you will recall, because he asked me from time-to-time for advice on what to do with/for the teenager and his grandmother on a few occasions. It's nice that Charlie tries to help out the young man, and hopefully he has broken him away from drugs plus his other destructive ways, and has given the grandmother a backbone, but that situation does not even fit the scenario here. And, as I pointed out to Charlie before, the young man has someone in an official capacity who is supposed to deal with him legally, and sometimes interference, however well intentioned, is not the best route to take, even though Charlie may not agree with how things are done here. Like tea leaves reading or astrology, you can see anything applying to anyone in any situation if you try hard enough.
Does Evie (for example) need CL directing us to sites on this? No. Does Marcia? Probably not. Do I? No. Do most people here? Doubtful. If they wanted that type of advice, they would likely say so. That aside, if CL wants to share in here and has an appreciation of a site that he thinks will be of interest, that's wonderful.
It is always nice to share sites of interest. But when it is a compilation of sites that are more in the way of a lecture when taken as a whole, then taking the history of what else CL has posted recently, it seems that CL is trying to put out mini lectures on how to improve lives of others. It would be easier to swallow if there was any reason to believe that CL is a senior citizen who is dealing with weight and exercise issues, and having issues with a family member or friend who is being bullied. Being a supposed 20-something year old female, islamic follower living on the US East Coast, but linking to UK sites, who makes wav recordings to post talking to Charlie, Blake and yourself, laughing over which is better to use, Advil or Tylenol, when dealing with Speakeasy, is not exactly a background that would lend itself to having a real interest in these topics. It DOES, however, show the alliance CL has with your group, making my point on the rapid back-up posts.
We tried to engage CL on Islam. CL claims to have a real, legitimate interest in Islam. But when pinned, CL would not cooperate with information and it quickly became apparent that the knowledge base was wearing thin. When this type of thing happens, it is only logical that people become suspicious of motives for posting and wonder whether there is another agenda when someone starts posting threads that have no apparent connection with their own interests or life situation.
Rosalie, please, do not be offended, but I need to ask something of you. I also know that you stated at the beginning of your post that it was not necessarily directed at me.......
......however, in looking at the time you made your post in this thread (5:41 PM), in what post prior to that was SpeakEasy mentioned by someone in response to C-L that you took exception to?
I believe in my post above I made mention of the seriousness of the subject, as well as a personal note regarding such.
Is it possible that you might be the one this time that mentioned SpeakEasy first?
Regarding C-L's age and/or gender - I truly could give a rat's rearend, and wish it would quit being brought up by anyone here. If he/she/it wanted us to know any of that, we would know. Some folks thrive on mystery; and as long as the mystery is kept alive and folks are curious enough to bring it up, there is a sense of power provided the one(s) who know the answers.
My 1 1/2 cents worth.
Probably should have kept my fingers off the keyboard.
I think Rosalie is referring to SpeakEasy as being this particular community of folks talking in this forum, Marcia. And she is trying to make a point that the post should stand on its own, not relate to how welcome it might be to those members who comprise the community as to either relevance or possible bias.
It's the constant drumbeat of issues being had with who can post what and why and whether or not that is fair. The end result is that CL's post has now become an icon standing for Rosalie's (and others') beliefs that posts of some persons are not treated the same as those of others. That makes it all about "SpeakEasy," meaning this community and how members are treated.
Evie asks for links to be clear and Charlie claims that is some type of overbearing command. Frankly, i'm not thrilled to have what purports to be CL temporarily on my iPod list (until deletion) due to a download I didn't expect when I clicked on the link. Truth in advertising would have been helpful.
After a while, it begins to look like posts are made to "test the waters" to cry discrimination in responses or handling of posts. That, in turn, evokes an outcry (which it is meant to, and is used as further proof of how badly those not "for us, but a'gin us" are responding). This is usually followed up by the lament against the mods, if the choir cues to sing the chorus on time.
The gender and background of CL SHOULD mean nothing. But there appears to be a carefully crafted show underway to display a persona here. There is NO sense for the wav file otherwise. None.
There is no winning in this war, since the rules are much the same as the Mad Hatters Tea Party. And to round it out, this whole insane scenario will be classified, for good measure, as the Neo-Cons, Progressives, Liberals, Whackos, whatever.
Which gets us back to the original concept expressed in a different thread, of why it's nice to know that a post has some personal (read = legitimate) relevance to the person posting it. And therein lies a core issue, because a friend of Rosalie and CL already was taken to task on that issue by the community (read = SpeakEasy).
On CL's links I listened to two of them, One I deleted and all was well. So I opened another one and when I went to delete it off my system I was told it was copyrighted and I couldn't! I was NOT happy! I finally got rid of it! I will never open any link this person posts again. One lesson was enough
One thing about the SE members, we do know how to make a mountain out of a mole hill don't we?
Earlier today I went way back and did some reading. Turns out it was Glenda that, out of the blue, all of sudden declared CL was a MAN. Now that alone would have given me cause to pause. But no, everyone assumed Glenda was right and declared CL was a man.
Then CL posted a voice clip revealing she is a woman in order to clear up the confusion and hopefully stop all the silly he/she business but by now everyone has convinced themselves she was a man so they declare the clip a fake rather than admit they were wrong.
And SHE is accused of playing a game!! I think the real problem is that for some members finding out they have been wrong is just too much to swallow? Come on! We're all wrong at one time or other it really won't kill us to admit we might have made a mistake.
BTW, also in that reading I did, CL did explain a lot about her beliefs and Muslims. It was when she was backhanded that she began to bulk. And she responded in kind to some queries that even I could tell were out and out sarcastic. I don't think any of us would have responded kindly to such questions.
At any rate, I've had my say and I thank you for the opportunity. Good night.
The bullies and the bullied.
I am sure an interesting analysis can be drawn from the various responses shared in this thread by the experts (Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Social Service Personnels).
Intimidators are the people you got to watch out for. They will stop at nothing to fry you.
I offered a suggestion perhaps once or twice, but the most recent one is this.
Anyhow, lunch break is almost over, I got 2 minutes to use the bathroom.
Have a nice day everyone. Take care RB2D2
the members of this Forum as people to be analysed in some way, rather than joining the exchange of views and information in a whole-hearted manner. Why don't you just participate in the Forum like all other members do, rather than setting yourself apart? The irony is that it is surely in your interest to do so. Just MHO.