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What's your opinion on parental control apps?

What's your opinion on parental control apps?

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Answer
They are iffy.

So setting aside my opinion they put the parent and the child into a war of wits. Kids find ways around it or just use another computer or phone. On many phones the kids just factory reset to blow off the app.

Back to my opinion. I have a very low opinion of such apps and you have the problem of parents trying to rely on an app to replace their parenting skills. This discussion often has the parents lashing out at anyone that points that out.

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"This discussion often has the parents

lashing out at anyone that points that out"

LOL. True, like suggestive clothing, screen time ... /s/ Schoolteacher
Same with cell phones in class. No amount of reasoning would change kids or parents. Or the parents' lawyers, who run the schools.

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Answer
Nothing but nothing beats the building of trust

between parents and their children. Once you feel the need to use technology to spy on or deny access to something in this manner, you've displayed your own lack of trust and whatever has been built is now broken. This isn't like putting up a fence at a stairway to prevent a toddler from falling down it. At that age, they don't know better. Once you can teach them to know better, the fence is no longer needed. If you've never taught them to know what is proper and what is not, no piece of software will replace that lack of education.

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It appears the OP has another post.

Different question which I answered that family counseling is an option. That can be where the trust is rebuilt. But if the parents are just there to issue demands the counselor's work has more work to do.

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Answer
To those who see parents as the problem,

you're right, with this caveat. Parent is often a 30-year-old who dropped out of school to have the child at 15. [Regardless of race/creed/national origin, from experience.]
No help with homework, discipline, child molding. Now what?

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Back to the old days when there were no smart phones?

This is not a problem just for 30 YO parents you pointed out. It's a recurring issue where it's actually easy to solve. Set the rules. If the rules are broken you get them a flip phone. If the kid flips out then that's fine too. Some try to be the kid's friend rather than the parent.

Family counseling is always a good idea.

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Agreed. But, I saw the problem with teachers and

staff having the problems with parents. That means the situations will not change. Unless human hearts change. Or get changed.

When I was on this earlier I happened to have some older magazones in front of me. May 2013 Awake! Has a two-page spread, "How to Discipline Your Teenager". Six subheads; nine scriptures; one quote from a secular professional. Many others before and since. Works for us.
https://tinyurl.com/y3eewjzt

Remember, I've forbidden some here to read the Bible. Please exercise your supreme authority as Mod to check on them. If they read it, THEY'RE GONNA BURN!!! And it will be on you!

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(NT) Link OK
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I like the first title.

"Unclear bounderies." What's next is unclear or inconsistent repercussions. Family counseling is where I see these areas cleared up and put in focus.

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A bit of light humor...maybe

Speaking of boundaries, that reminds me of a story we had to read in High School Latin class. One chapter had us all laughing. I had to look it up and think I found it. It was something about Julius Caesar and his army. The chapter was called "You shall not pass" Many of us didn't find the course to be easy so the title seemed appropriate.

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That's the top of p. 5.

"Be clear". Gal 6:7 is proverbial of course. But, it applies to parents as well.
We're encouraged to have weekly family study time which should NOT be an hour of ragging on the kids. Happy

One advantage we have is the kids understand we're all under headship, as we call it. If the Jehovah is the authority, and the parents act on that, then all are more likely to obey the rules.

JW joke. Yes, we do make jokes. Col 3:21 says, "You fathers, do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted."
Sometimes we think that's the only scripture they know by heart.

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(NT) Also "Be consistent".
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Answer
Any help with teens will do

It has become a part of raising up kids nowadays. But I think it is more rational to apply to teens. I have two boys of 13 and should say they are too active. My DH installed an app called mspy on their phones to view a list of all apps installed on their devices and block those we don’t wish them to use. It also helps supervise boys` Internet activity and block the unwanted websites if needed. For now, it works pretty well.

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Give it time.

I've seen that title spammed here PLUS it's easy to take off the phone with a factory reset.

Folk that rely on such apps find themselves in an arms race.

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Who is paying for their phones and airtime?

And, what kind of example are you and your "DH" (some social media abbreviation, I presume) to your boys? If you are constantly tethered to a phone and spend more time with it than you do talking to your children, your spying and blocking apps will fail. OK...so you don't need my lecture so go ahead and scoff or be angry. I'm an older person and have seen plenty of that kind of response and it doesn't bother me. If you live long enough and aren't injured or killed at the hands of a distracted driver, you may adopt the same attitude. Given what you're requesting, smart phone addiction may be the underlying problem. No app exists for that.

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Answer
Show some Parenting Skills

Controlling your child isn't enough to protect him but it will discourage your child from exposure by the fear of consequences. You should talk to your child daily at least for an hour to know his daily activity and to discuss if anything good or bad happen today. Become friend with your child so that you don't need to control him and it will help him to learn the self-governing skill. Communication between a child and parent is very important. A child feels safe when his parents are by his side to protect him.

Every parent should use and learn parenting tips https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/parenting to teach their child better manner, behavior and habits.

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Protection

doesn't mean excusing bad behavior or turning them in people with no social face-to-face skills because their face is buried non-stop in their phones that they aren't paying for themselves. Protection also means making them accountable not only for what they do but for what they want....

I was at a family dinner in a restaurant last week on my trip...daughters in their 50's now and grandkids in their 20's....table with 11 people seated. I don't own a cellphone, so out of ten people around me, three couldn't hold a conversation longer than 20 seconds (literally timed it) without picking up their cellphones. One 60's son-in-law, one 50's daughter, and one 20's gdaughter (daughter of the one on the cellphone). Two hour dinner and none of those three had a clue about conversations going on around them or even the fact that they were being rude to everyone around them. It was pathetic to always be looking at the tops of their heads bent over phones while they tried to eat and 'look' social. If I could have avoided causing a public scene, I would have lined them up like the 3 stooges they are and smacked them all at once...…..Their self importance was disgusting, including one (the gdtr cellphone fanatic) whose aspiration is to be a professional singer of sorts who kept singing loudly to the piped in 'muzak' in the background if she recognized the song.

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Amen...amen...amen

Any place people are sitting in chairs among others seems to have most engaged in their phones than with other people. These past years, I've spent many hours in the waiting rooms of medical facilities and it's the same thing. If not cell phones, it's some kind of tablet using the free wifi. The same goes for waiting for a car repair. Why these places even have magazines available is a mystery. Zombies staring into their phones is about all I see. No one strikes up a conversation with a stranger anymore. Their life is openly broadcast on a variety of social media channels....as if someone really cares.
I love being a curmudgeon. I'll chose that any day before becoming a smart phone zombie.

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RE:their face is buried non-stop in their phones
their face is buried non-stop in their phones that they aren't paying for themselves.


IF they WERE paying for themselves...you would have NO complaint?

Never let an opportunity to complain slip?

How did the subject of who was paying for THEIR phones come up? IF at all, I know it bugs you to have the gov pay for phones for a certain group of people, and you just assume everyone that has a phone it's a 'free phone'.
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I don't care if they are paying

for that piece of crap or not (but I know my gdtr isn't paying for hers...her mother's boyfriend who was there is paying for all their phones on one plan)….watching the tops of their heads is NOT 'socializing' with people right in front of them. They are 'socializing' with a MACHINE.

You must not have a REAL social life either if you think I'm wrong to complain about this behavior because you and drp find it acceptable. Look at how many times he has to post, damn his phone, and repost...or post and then immediately have to let us know that his link actually works. My daughters complain all the time about how 'inconvenient' it is for them to actually ANSWER their phones when I call because texting is so much faster and easier. How sad that the actual sound of a human voice is 'inconvenient' now for them....

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My problem with this whole thing is that young children are

introduced to these devices before they can even read and write. The justification is that a child may need a phone in an emergency but the real truth is that these become like any other abused toy.

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RE: I'm wrong to complain about this behavior

It wasn't that long ago that your pet peeve on cellphones was that they were provided by the government...at least you've moved on to them having their face in their phone.

RE: How sad that the actual sound of a human voice is 'inconvenient' now for them....

Text messages are cheaper than talk time....THEY are financially responsible....Good for them.

They are too lazy to talk...others are too lazy to go see them and talk face to face....

I have 2 cellphones ONE for Canada and the other for when I'm in the Excited States of America....I MAY have used them 20 times in 5 years.....95% of the time they aren't even turned on.

PS Did it ever occur to you that the people on their cellphones weren't interested in what you were talking about, just as you weren't interested in what they were texting about?

Perhaps both groups have nothing in common....Different tables for different interests?

Move to another table while texting?

Post was last edited on February 26, 2019 12:03 PM PST

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When you have nothing but blather

and babble, it's time to resort to insults.

Did it ever occur to YOU that since you ONLY used your TWO phones 20 times in FIVE years, that YOU have nothing interesting to say to people or that maybe you don't have anybody in your life to actually CALL?

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RE:When you have nothing but blather

You're the one responding to "blather" as you call it....

it becomes "blather" when it hits close to home?

It wasn't me sitting across the table from you with my face in the phone....

Their phone was more interesting than you?

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Their phones have become

'more interesting' than ANYthing that was going on around them in real time. Why bother to sit next to your own daughter (the other one with her face in the phone) or your sisters and nieces and nephews for a family dinner and not only not talk to them but not look at them either? It would have been just as easy to order a meal delivered to your home and stay put.

And, again, it was noticed that you didn't dispute your own failings...…..

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RE: it was noticed that you didn't dispute your own failings

by "failings" do you mean MY claim that I MAY have used them 20 times in 5 years..?

IF people use their cellphones too much YOU complain, when I hardly use mine very, very seldom YOU considered a failing?

I can't understand why we don't agree more, I've NEVER used my cellphone at the table. We should be best friends....at least a better friend than your gdtr.

BTW...I have 2 cellphones AND a landline....and everyone with my phone numbers know DO NOT DISTURB unless you have something important to tell me. Works for me and for them...it's a 'win/win'.

I do all my idle chit/chat other places than on a phone.

RE:Their phones have become 'more interesting' than ANYthing that was going on around them in real time.

In THEIR 'real time' they have a cellphone on their person.

And you're offended...that's too bad.

THEY probably didn't want to listen to you talk about DJT and the Tea Party and all the Mad Hatters.

Be grateful I'm here for you.

Some have cellphones...others have Speakeasy.....

Can you tell us what YOU wanted to talk about that THEY didn't want to discuss/hear?

Do you ever ask them exactly what they are texting about? Involve yourself in THEIR discussions instead of waiting for them to involve themselves in your discussions?

THEY are living THEIR life, NOT yours...get over it?

Someday ALL parents will be just a memory.....how do you want to be remembered?

I have heard that Thanksgiving's in America are the typical setting for family feuds to turn into a 'bunfight'...perhaps in Oct 2019 you can bring up the subject of cellphones at the table as a 'conversation topic'?

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I hate to say this*, Bill,

but she's right and you're wrong.


*No, I don't.

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Bunfight??? In America???

Misspelled, as anyone with a rifle in every room could tell you!!!

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I've always found it interesting that some will answer

a phone while talking with another person.
Doesn't that say, 'I have no idea who this is, but it will be more interesting than talking to you' ?

Full disclosure: I'm sending this while at the *** end of a family dinner. Most are in the living room talking and laughing. My BIL and his son were on YouTube looking at Epic Fail driving scenes. Now they're talking about their own encounters with idiots. I'm being useful, holding my four year old niece on my lap so she can play bubble games on her Dad's phone.

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" *** " end used to be polite talk for tail end.

All watched over ...

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