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Here in the United States, we use the English system of weights and measures. We use it even though the English have converted to the Metric system, like much of the rest of the world. Here are some conversion factors to help my fellow Americans.
Useful English System conversions/units:
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth mouthwash: 1 microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach Turtle
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot furlong
365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond
A Half-Bath: 1 demijohn
Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first step of a one-mile journey: 1 Milwaukee
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
10 monologs: 5 dialogs
2 monograms: 1 diagram
2 wharves: 1 paradox
100 Senators: Not 1 decision

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